(Being a short story I wrote after my friend Dave gave me the first sentence as a prompt.  It doesn’t really have an ending.  I thought about adding a punchline when I typed it up, but I couldn’t think of one that would do it justice.)

“Your operation was almost a complete success!”
“What do you mean, ‘almost’?”
“We managed to remove your appendix without any damage to the surrounding organs! Apart from one minor detail, you’ll be as good as new!”
“One minor…?”
“I know you were worried about going under the knife, but our excellent team of surgeons…”
“Why did you say ‘almost’?”
“…worked diligently through the night…”
“Why did you say ‘almost’?”
“And considering that we’ve just saved your life, I must say that it seems a bit nitpicky for you to keep harping on about…”
“Where the hell’s my nose?!?”
“Ah.”
“Where’s my nose? What happened to it?”
“Yes. That would be the ‘almost.’”
“How do you remove someone’s appendix and end up cutting off their nose?”
“Look, Doctor Williams is very young… it’s a mistake anybody could have made.”
“They’re at different ends!”
“Yes, but after twelve Carlsbergs…”
“Why was he drinking…?”
“Now, don’t you go blaming Doctor Williams. It’s not his fault that Doctor Barnes dared him.”
“Dared him?”
“Look, do you think it’s fun being a surgeon? Believe you me, it’s not. We have to find ways to amuse ourselves, and in Doctor Williams’ case… Well, halfway through the operation, somebody said, ‘Hey, doesn’t this guy look a bit like Voldemort?’, and, well, after that one thing led to another…”
“I’m going to sue you for every penny…”
“Honestly, you’ve got no sense of humour. I thought you said you liked Harry Potter.”
“Where’s this Doctor Williams? I’ll kill him!”
“Honestly. Well, if you really want to find him, he’s usually down at the mortuary this time of day. We like to put on a nice puppet show.”
“What?”
“Yes, something for the kiddies. Well, it’s a bit intimidating for them, being in hospital for the first time, and we want to cheer them up.”
“…”
“Good old Corpsey the Dinosaur. All the have to do is use their imaginations, and he comes to… Well, not ‘life,’ exactly, although there was that time with old Mrs Hannigan. I still get the shivers whenever I see a pair of false teeth, you know.”