The above is the back-cover blurb of Girls by Nic Kelman.  No, sorry- girls.  No, sorry- girls: a paean.  We must be accurate.

Note how, in the description, we are given three examples of older men who sleep with women who are too young for them (we all know that “a young woman whose true age he never learns” is a euphemism for “a girl who was probably underage,” right?).  Note how we aren’t told how the girls themselves feel about any of this.  Note how said girls are explicitly described as prizes and possessions.  Note how all the men are described entirely in terms of their financial success.  Note how we’re encouraged to compare this book to Ancient Greek literature purely on the grounds that it’s about dirty old men trying to get their end away.

Note also how two of the review quotes are from James Frey and J.T. LeRoy, two well-known biographical authors who were later found to be lying their heads off.  That has nothing to do with anything else- I just find it funny.

I was a teenage girl myself when this book came out, and it annoyed me so much that I bought a £1:99 copy from The Works in order to horrify my friends (none of whom, I assure you, had any interest in sleeping with their fathers’ grubby mates, even if they were wealthy CEOs.)  These days, I’m 29, and it still annoys me.  So I’m going to spend this summer reviewing it.  I’ll try to post twice a week, talking about twenty pages at a time, give or take.

And, after that, I’ll probably chop it to bits and turn it into origami swans.  Or maybe I’ll cover it with amusing graffiti and post photos.  It depends what kind of mood I’m in.