Because it turns out that I like this one better than I remembered.

***

A Note from Mala Voluntad

Graffiti found in a stall in the ladies’ toilets at the Pizza Hut in Shakespeare Avenue, Monday 17th May:

sex is evil

sex is a game

5 minits of plesha

9 munths of pain

baby’s a bastard

husband’s a git

all because the fukin

condom split

 

Sex is wonderful, pure and bright,

Sex is fantastic, when you do it right.

First of all, you ought to take

A pill or two if the condom breaks.

If you do get pregnant, repeat after me-

It’s no longer nineteen fifty-three.

You won’t go to a fallen women’s home

As soon as your predicament is known.

If you’re not pro-choice, that’s up to you,

But don’t marry the guy if you don’t want to.

And lastly, take your lives in hand:

Don’t sleep with men who you can’t stand.

 

Boys like it good,

Boys like it fine,

Nine months later

They say, “It ain’t mine!”

 

Boys like it good, boys like it fine.

(If you don’t like it too, then they’re not worth your time.)

Please regard the above advice;

I can’t be arsed to tell you twice

About condoms, pills, and shotgun marriage.

I really don’t mean to disparage

Your IQ, but try your best-

There are such things as DNA tests.

 

Sex, drugs and rock n roll,

Speed, weed, and alcohol,

Life’s a bitch and then you die,

So fuck the law and let’s get high!

 

Sex and drugs?  I’m not a prude-

They’re fun when you’re in a good mood.

But when your plans have hit a hitch

And you start to feel that life’s a bitch,

Stay sober, seek out helpful friends

To bring your troubles to an end.

For chemicals can use your woe

To turn your brain into your foe.

Solve your problems, bear their brunt,

And then take all the drugs you want.

 

k so my bf keeps tellin me that i need to lose weight

but like i dont think i look that bad but he says hes

embarrassed 2 be seen with me 😦  what do u think?

 

Well, that didn’t rhyme at all.