It was getting on for midnight.  On the front steps of Dovecote Gardens, Jeanette sat with Falada/Colwyn beside her, propped up against the railing.  In front of them were the five Iridescence siblings (split apart so they could squabble easier), the Finery family, that tit from Kindling Grove, and a woman who said her name was Inger and that she was from somewhere called Underhill Towers.  Everyone was yelling at the top of their voices and refusing to let anyone else get a word in edgeways, but the person in front of Jeanette had managed to drown the rest of them out every time.

There was a fifty-foot dragon with shiny blue scales sitting in front of Dovecote Gardens.  And Colwyn was just talking to him like everything was normal.

“You say there was a problem in the shopping centre?” he asked, craning his wicker neck to look up at him.

The dragon rumbled, like you’d expect a dragon to.  Like they did in films.  “It was a man who said he was from Dovecote Gardens.”  Little bits of smoke and ash kept coming out of his mouth, and Jeanette thought about people who spat when they talked.  “In fact, he seemed to think that you were our landlord.”

“Well, I assure you, I certainly haven’t…”

A loud voice came from their right.  “Heaven forbid!” crowed one of the Iridescence sisters, the one with the curly hair who looked like she was constantly sucking on a lemon.  Jeanette thought she remembered the others calling her ‘Pin.’  “He’d certainly like us to think he was our landlord.”  She twisted her head in a funny way, and Jeanette realised she was trying to catch the Kindling Grove jackass’ eye.

One of her brothers must have been doing something weird, because Inger from Underhill Towers suddenly stepped out in front of him.  “Are you going somewhere?” she asked, in that polite voice that told you to forget what you’d been doing and behave yourself, if you knew what was good for you.  To his credit, the Iridescence brother did exactly that.

Probably wanting to draw everyone’s attention away from that, the oldest Iridescence brother- Eg- decided to stand over Jeanette and roar, “What were you doing in our house?!”

Jeanette opened her mouth to reply- she’d have enjoyed doing that- but then one of his sisters, the giggly one with the cheekbones, cut in.  “Oh, I seem to recall that someone was against letting them in from the start.  Now, who could it have been?  Hmm, let me think…”

Eg turned back to growl something at her, so Colwyn took advantage of the interruption to ask the dragon, “Was this man quite tall?  Long brown hair and stubble?”

Jeanette gave a start.  “Dad?”  What with everything else that had been going on, she’d completely forgotten about that phone call.

The Kindling Grove jackass rolled his eyes.  “Why am I not surprised?”

Jeanette didn’t completely understand that, but one of the Iridescence sisters gave a long, loud laugh.  She couldn’t have been more obvious about sucking up to him if she’d tried.

The Finery family, who were still in silver-tree-form, twitched a bit.  “Now, look, this is all very well, but can you prove that you’re actually Colwyn Ballantine?”

“I can,” said Colwyn, not missing a beat, “If I describe certain documents to you, you should be able to find them upstairs.  They’ll be my identification.”

And the Finery family would probably have had a reply to that, if Eg Iridescence hadn’t suddenly screamed, “They can’t merge!  They’re still in our house!”

“What?” gasped Pin.

Ohhh, shit, thought Jeanette.  She’d known this moment was probably coming, but that didn’t stop her stomach from dropping all the way to her knees.

Colwyn sniffed.  “I’m also in your house, and that doesn’t seem to bother you.”

Immediately, with amazing speed for his size, Eg Iridescence was on the stairs, lunging towards Jeanette and Colwyn.  Jeanette dodged sideways, only realising a moment too late that he wasn’t after her.  His foot was raised, aiming a football kick at the wicker horse’s head, when suddenly he left the ground.

The dragon held him in his claws, six feet in the air.

(To be continued)