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(Content Warning: Deeply unpleasant.)

(I don’t have a new “Warbeck Sisters” chapter finished yet, so this is by way of being a Halloween special.)

*

Well, it’s all a soap opera, isn’t it?  It’s all a tawdry little spectacle, and they milk it for all it’s worth.  And the worst thing of all is that we’ve all fallen for it.  Everyone’s hooked.

I’m not sure when the shift happened, when people like them convinced the world that everything they did was breaking news.  Sometimes I’m surprised we don’t get regular updates on when they went to the toilet last.  That’ll be next, mark my words!

But they’ve been like that ever since they got married.  Always having to be the centre of attention.  Every photo sold to Hello magazine.  Putting their children out front like a bunch of china dolls.  You wonder whether there’s anything real left underneath it all.  Probably not.

You saw the picture of them outside the church, right?  Perfectly posed and perfectly turned-out.  They might as well have gone the whole hog and had the entire funeral sponsored by Gucci.  That’ll be next, mark my words!

Like I said, it’s all a soap opera.  I wouldn’t be surprised if they had a whole script prepared in advance, telling them when their voices had to break and when they had to dab their eyes with a tissue.  “A single perfect tear rolling down the grieving mother’s face…”  Do me a favour.

You’d think they were the first people to ever lose a child.  Always talking about their suffering and their heartbreak.  Do you think they’ve given a thought to the thousands of people who’ve had to put up with this plastered across the papers for weeks, and all the horrible memories it’s brought back?  Of course not.  They’re the only ones thar matter.  They don’t need to worry about the little people.

It was disgusting, the things the newspapers printed.  I don’t know how people with children managed to explain it to them.  All those details- the blood, the hammer, the notes from the kidnapper- no-one needed to hear about it.  It was just them filling up more column inches at the expense of the rest of us.

You watch.  They’ll milk this for all it’s worth, then they’ll go away for a bit and come back with a replacement child.  “Baby news to dry our tears,” that sort of thing.  They’ll probably order one out of a catalogue.  They’d probably like to have it assembled from a kit- just like the last one, but with some of the annoying bits taken out.  That’ll be next, mark my words!

What kills me is, there are plenty of people who actually lose children.  Real children.  But do you think they ever stop to think about that?  Of course not.  Empathy?  They don’t know the meaning of the word.

The End

The Warbeck Sisters (part forty-eight)

Bo and Dol hadn’t gone straight back to the house.  There was a little bolthole, an out-of-the-way place just past the Opal Hill borders, where they could spend the night and consider their options without having to worry about the Fineries and their lot knocking on the door.  After that, they approached the house slowly, round the back way, careful not to alert the attention of anyone who might be watching.

If Pin or Eg had been with them, they’d have been spluttering with outrage and demanding immediate action because didn’t Dol and Bo realise there was an intruder in the house?!  Dol and Bo did realise.  But they also realised that they’d be in a better position to confront the intruders if they weren’t arrested before they got anywhere near them.

There was a little path through the mountains, made originally by natural erosion, but widened and maintained by the Iridescence family for the last twenty years.  One end was hidden by the trees and foothills around it, nearly impossible to find unless you knew where to look.  Follow it to the other end, and you reached a gate at the back of the Iridescence house, which Bo unlocked and held open for Dol.  Home at last.

They passed a number of servants on their way through the back garden, but none of them asked where they’d been or where the others were.  None of them made any comments at all.  They knew better than that.

Once in the house, they went to the secret door and confirmed their suspicions.  “Unlocked,” announced Dol, “They must have had it off the hook the minute we turned our backs.”  She took the key (still in the lock, thank goodness), and locked it again.  “Put the bookcase up against it, just to be sure,” she told Bo, “That way we can check the rest of the house without worrying about losing track of them.”

“Why would they be anywhere else in the house?”

“Well, they probably won’t.  But better safe than sorry.”

Bo nodded, and moved the bookcase.  And so began a half-hearted search of the main house- the main downstairs room, the solar upstairs, the bathrooms and the servants’ quarters.  No sign of Colwyn’s nieces.  No sign of anything out of the ordinary.  After about an hour, they agreed to stop.  Whatever they needed to find, it was beyond the secret door.

Before they moved the bookcase and opened it, though, they made an extra stop at one of the sheds in the back garden.  There was a metal container full of chemicals, and a tube.  Pest spray, it said on the front. 

“We’ll check the attic first,” said Dol, “But I suspect they’ve gone to the terrarium.”

“I hope not,” said Bo, “It would be a shame to lose it when we’ve had it so long.”

Dol laughed.  “If that’s the worst thing that happens to us today, consider yourself lucky.”  She opened the door, and she and Bo stepped into the corridor behind the walls.

(To be continued)

The Warbeck Sisters (part forty-seven)

Jeanette picked up the receiver, then turned back to Colwyn.  “What do I tell her?”

“Whatever seems right to you,” he replied, “You don’t have to hide anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“So she knows about the paths?”  As soon as Jeanette said it, she realised it was a stupid question.  Mum had grown up at Dovecote Gardens- she couldn’t have missed it all those years.  Probably the only reason Jeanette and her sisters hadn’t known about it before that was that they’d never spent any time around here.

“She does, yes.  Although a lot’s changed since she lived here.”

Jeanette went back to the phone.  It was one of those irritating ones with the round dial that gave you repetitive strain disorder after about three numbers and meant that you were never sure whether you’d made a mistake or not.  But Jeanette got in all eleven numbers, listened to it ring, and hoped for the best.

It wasn’t until she heard her mother’s voice that Jeanette realised how worried she’d been that she wouldn’t.  That Dad would have visited her first, and caused even more damage.  “Hello?”

“Hi, Mum, it’s Jeanette.”  She probably sounded much too cheerful for the serious turn this phone call was about to take, but she couldn’t help it.  She was relieved.

“Jeanette!  How are you, darling?”

“Fine.  We’re all fine.”  Here came the tricky part.  “But, listen, there’s been a lot of stuff…  Well.  Dad came by.”

You could hear the joy drain out of Mum’s voice.  “Oh my God…”

“We weren’t in,” said Jeanette, waving a hand as if she thought Mum would somehow see it through the phone, “Neither was Colwyn.  We’re fine.”

“But he got into the house?”

“For a while, but then he got onto the paths.  And he’s been arrested.”

“Arrested?”

“In Underwood Hills.  Do you know that one?  It’s…”

“Up in the mountains, yes.”  Not the description Jeanette would have used, but never mind.  “Did he hurt anyone?”

“No, it sounds like he just threw a tantrum in a newsagent’s.”  She thought for a moment, then added, “He did get into a fight nearer to the house, though, but the other guy’s ok.  He kind of deserved it, to be honest…”

“Oh God.”  Mum sounded as if she was going back and processing the news a second time, just to wring out all the misery.  “He’s been calling me day and night, but I didn’t think he’d come up and bother you.”

“Well, he’s not bothering us now.  We’ve got to go and see if we can bail him out or something.”  Come to think of it, Jeanette didn’t actually know what the Underwood Hills people were expecting her to do when she got there.  Hopefully they weren’t going to ask her to pay for the damage.

“Don’t do anything until I get there,” said Mum.

“But I said I would,” said Jeanette, and her voice sounded whiny even to her.  She’d been looking forward to that!  “Come on, I can’t make them wait five weeks.”

“You won’t.  You’ll be waiting three or four hours.”  There was a jangle of keys.  “I’m coming up now.”

Jeanette just stood there, blinking stupidly.  “What?”

“I’m not letting you and Colwyn deal with him on your own.  I’ll be there by this afternoon.  Don’t do anything til then.”

“Don’t you have work?” asked Jeanette, but she knew the answer to that before she’d even finished speaking.  They let you have days off for an emergency, even if “my ex-husband has been imprisoned by dragons” probably wasn’t the kind of emergency they expected.

Anyway, Mum didn’t even bother to answer that.  “Jeanette, put me back on to Colwyn.  We need to work some things out.”

“OK…  See you this afternoon, I guess.”  Jeanette turned back to Colwyn, and handed him the receiver.  He looked worried, as well he might be.  Mum was not going to be happy when she got here and saw Rube was missing.

(To be continued)

Marnie Doesn’t Shoplift

Marnie had been in Marks & Spencer for twenty minutes, and the security guards had been following her around for ten.  No matter which aisle she went down, one of them would appear at the end, watching her out of the corner of their eye.  Clearly she was up to no good, and nothing would convince them otherwise.

They’d given special assemblies at school:  There is no official crime called “shoplifting.”  It’s classed as theft, and you’ll be treated like any other thief.  Every other issue of Mizz and Shout had a story about somebody who was cautioned and banned from Woolworths after trying to steal something to give their best friend for her birthday.  Marnie had heard that story so many times that she felt like she’d actually lived it.  Even if you’d never even thought of stealing something, you worried that anything you looked at for too long would just materialise in your bag and incriminate you.        

If those security guards suddenly pounced on her and demanded to know what she was actually going to buy, Marnie didn’t have anything to say that would satisfy them.  What do you mean, you just came in to look at the birthday cake?  No-one just comes in to look at the birthday cakes!  It’s not a bloody art gallery!  Or maybe she could make something up… and have them find her out immediately, because they were trained experts in rooting out the truth and Marnie was bad at lying even at the best of times.          

She gave up.  No more looking around the shops today.  She took an exaggerated step away from the shelves, keen to show the security guards that she hadn’t slipped any of the cake decorations into her pocket, and went off to the exit.  Hopefully they’d let her leave without any fuss.           

In those stories in the magazines, the friend whose birthday it was usually told them she was glad they got caught because she wouldn’t have wanted a stolen present anyway.  Marnie honestly didn’t think she’d care one way or the other.  Presents were presents.

*           

It was Sunday night, which meant that Marnie had to work her way through all seven hours of homework she’d got last week so that her mum could sign her homework diary and she wouldn’t get in trouble tomorrow.  In the next room, her brother was watching King of the Hill.  For the first two hours, Marnie had hoped she’d be finished in time to watch some of it, but now it was pretty clear that she wouldn’t, so she tried not to listen in.  She had to concentrate.            

It had started with the safety poster for Home Ec, which hadn’t been that bad.  Then there had been the worksheet for Geography, with her mum popping in and saying that she was sure Marnie’s teacher would want more detailed sentences than that.  Then the end-of-chapter questions in Science, of which Marnie had understood about one word in every three, which meant that she’d written down complete guesses.  Right now, it was Maths, which wouldn’t have been so bad except for the fact that there was so much of it.  And after she was done with that, there would be English, IT, History and Music.  Marnie wondered if she’d ever get out of this room.           

Her mum called her a “brinksman,” and said that she really should have made a start on this homework sometime yesterday.  Or even Friday night, when all that knowledge had been fresh in her mind.  Except that nothing felt fresh at the end of a school day.  You felt as if you’d been crumpled up and stamped on.  All you wanted to do was get home and lick your wounds.  Besides, a lot of this stuff wasn’t even due in until Wednesday or Thursday.  If it wasn’t for the homework diary thing, Marnie would have been done hours ago.           

In the next room, the ad break finished and the show started again.  Marnie had to stop listening in.

*           

When Marnie first went outside in the morning, it always felt as if the world was a little more intense than usual.  As if you had to be prepared for attack at all times.  As if the sky itself was bearing down on you.           

At the bus stop, one of the older boys (Marnie wasn’t sure of his name) was examining a new poster on the side of the shelter:

We will not tolerate…

  • Racist crime
  • Homophobic crime
  • Vandalism

“I can understand racist crime,” said the boy with a laugh, “But homophobic crime?  Come on!”

Marnie frowned.  “What’s wrong with ‘homophobic crime’?”

The boy grinned at her, and snapped his fingers.  “Exactly!”

Marnie started to tell the boy that he’d made a mistake, that she hadn’t been agreeing with him, that she’d meant “what’s wrong with them putting the words ‘homophobic crime’ on the poster,” but before she could get more than two or three words out, the bus arrived, and everyone was more focused on cramming themselves through the door.

*

“The homework was quite a mixed bag,” Marnie’s Science teacher told the class, “The highest mark was 80%, and the lowest mark was 47%.  That’s quite a large gulf, and I think it’s indicative of…”

Behind Marnie, Heather Runcorn and her mates broke into giggles.  “Oh my God, what idiot got 47%?”

Marnie was pretty sure she knew what idiot had got 47%, and she was pretty sure that the whole class were going to find out in thirty seconds when the teacher read out everyone’s score.  She swallowed, and tried not to look sick.

*

The food shop down the road had one of those posters that said, “A free ride in a police car for all our shoplifters!”  If Marnie had been in a good mood, she might have smiled at it, but she wasn’t.  What if somebody put something in her bag without her seeing?  Someone from school with a grudge against her, or a total stranger who just wanted to see what would happen?  Or what if she picked up something and just forgot she had it in her hand until she was halfway out of the door?  What then?

Marnie knew what then.  Criminal records.  Juvenile court.  Dirty looks and bans from everything you enjoyed.  A free ride in a police car.  And no matter how hard you tried to keep your wits about you, you knew it could happen at any moment.

*

One evening, Mum took Marnie and her brother out to dinner at the new restaurant by the seafront.  They sat by the big window so they’d have a view of the sea while they ate their meal.  They chatted away, soaking up the atmosphere.  They barely ever got to go out for dinner since Dad had moved out.

But no matter what happened, all Marnie could think of was the big pile of homework that was waiting for her when she got back.

*

Marnie had just turned her bag upside-down on the table when her Geography teacher snarled, “That is it.”

Marnie looked up, confused.

“Every day, I have to deal with one of you crying to me that you’ve ‘lost’ your homework.  Well, I’ve had it.  Get out your homework diary- you’re in detention.”

Later- far too late- Marnie found the worksheet she was supposed to have handed in.  It had slipped to the bottom of her bag and got trapped under a couple of textbooks.  If the teacher had just given her another twenty seconds, she’d have found it.

*

On Saturday, Marnie ended up back in Marks & Spencer again.  She couldn’t help it.  She liked looking at the cakes.

From out of the corner of her eye, she saw a girl about her age in one of the other aisles.  It took her a moment to realise that it was Heather Runcorn, from her Science class.  Marnie was just wondering whether she should go over and say hello (they weren’t friends or anything, but it seemed like the polite thing to do), when she saw Heather take a little box of sweets off the shelf and slip it into her coat pocket.

Almost by instinct, Marnie looked around for the security guards.  No sign of them.  You should find one and report her, she thought, Otherwise, when they catch up with her, they’ll think you were involved.

Marnie stayed put, and watched Heather leave.  It looked like she was heading for the exit.

Go on.  Report her.  Prove to them that not all kids are shoplifters.  Prove to them that you’re good.

Marnie didn’t move.

She laughed when you got 47% that time.  She deserves it.

Marnie counted to a hundred and twenty in her head.  Enough time for Heather to have made her escape.  Enough of a gap that no-one would think they were together.  And then Marnie wandered out of the shop, taking her time and looking at whatever she liked on the way.

And when she got outside, the sky suddenly seemed a whole lot less oppressive.

The End