What Sandy Did at Christmas (part three)

It was the last Saturday before the end of term, and Sandy’s Aunt Bernie had come to visit, bringing along her cousins.  What this meant was that Gran and Aunt Bernie sat in the kitchen complaining about other family members (and Sandy’s dad’s family in particular), while Grandad sat in the living room with the kids, watching an old episode of Only Fools and Horses.  The only problem with that was that Grandad had seen this episode before, years ago, and he kept talking over the dialogue as he tried to remember what happened next.  Sandy and her cousins had long since given up trying to follow the plot, and started playing with the Cluedo board instead.

“Sandy, have you ever actually played Cluedo with this board?” asked Roma.  Currently, they were pretending that Miss Scarlet and Miss Peacock were on an Atlantic cruise that had got horribly lost and resorted to cannibalism.

“We tried once,” said Sandy, “The rules didn’t make much sense.  And then I dropped the dagger through the floorboards upstairs, so…”

“Oh, I know this one!” said Grandad, his eyes still trained on the screen, “It looks like he’s going to take the gun, but then he grabs hold of the cigarettes instead.”

The girls listened politely, then went back to their conversation.  “Don’t feel too bad about the dagger,” said Keeley, “When we were younger, we had a massive collection of Sylvanian Family stuff, but then Roma swallowed about half of it.”

“I swallowed one thing!” snapped Roma, the colour rising in her cheeks, “It was a little cocktail glass, and it was an accident!”

“Yeah, but you were eleven.  You should have known better.”

Afterwards, Sandy was never sure why she spoke up just then.  Maybe she just wanted to stop this conversation before Roma went off in a sulk.  “You guys didn’t buy me a plant for Christmas, did you?”

Roma frowned.  “No?”

“A plant?” asked Keeley.

That was about what Sandy had expected, but she felt that she ought to be sure.  “Someone left it on the doorstep a week ago.  It’s addressed to me, but it doesn’t say who it’s from.”

“Well, it’s either your secret admirer or somebody trying to poison you,” said Keeley cheerfully.

Sandy grinned.  Granddad had said that thing about secret admirers, too.  It was like it was a hereditary joke.  “There are a few funny-coloured thorns on it.”

“Well, there you go.  You watch- prick your finger on one of them, your hand’ll swell up and explode.”

“Oh, just ignore her, Sandy,” said Roma, but without much rancour.  She’d gone back to fiddling about with the Cluedo figures again.

(To be continued)

What Sandy Did at Christmas (part two)

The music block was always a little warmer than the main building.  Something to do with the thick carpets everywhere, and the windows always being closed to keep the music in.  It looked a lot nicer than the main building, too, and had a kind of warm, polished smell to it.  Music wasn’t Sandy’s favourite subject, but she always liked being here.

For the last two weeks, they’d been doing nothing in Music but rehearse for the Year Eight Carol Concert at the end of term.  Sandy had never heard of half the hymns they were supposed to sing.  The other half she vaguely remembered singing in primary school, but had turned out to have strange, confusing extra verses.  Like ‘Once in Royal David’s City,’ which spent a whole verse describing how great a son Jesus was, and ended it with, ‘Christian children all must be / Mild, obedient, good as He.’

“I bet that’s the whole reason they chose it for us to sing,” she whispered to her friend Anastasia, “Subliminal messages.”

“It’s like that bit in ‘Away in a Manger’ about ‘no crying he makes.’  I bet he cried loads.  He was a baby.  I bet there’s nothing in the Bible to say he didn’t.”

 “There’s copies of the Bible in the library.  We could go there at lunch and check.”

A loud, commanding voice rose over theirs.  “Anastasia and Alexandra, the Russian tsar’s two beautiful daughters!” said Mr Finch, “Concentrate!”

Sandy and Anastasia looked dutifully back at their lyric sheets.  Mr Finch was one of the more reasonable teachers, but his voice was intimidating enough when he was in a good mood.  No-one wanted to find out what it sounded like when he really decided to yell.

After a minute or two, Anastasia whispered, “Wasn’t it the tsar’s wife who was called Alexandra?”

“Yeah.  And their son was called Alexei, I think.”  Sandy also didn’t like the closing lines of the song much.  ‘And like stars His children crowned / All in white shall wait around.’  White was her least favourite colour.  It wasn’t so much that she was worried about getting to Heaven and being made to wear a colour she hated; it was more that it made her worry about what else God liked that she didn’t.

Anastasia had skipped head to the next song.  “‘Angels help us to adore Him’?  Why would you need help to adore someone?  You either do or you don’t.”

Sandy shrugged.

(To be continued)

What Sandy Did At Christmas (part one)

Being a sequel to “What Sandy Did at Half-Term,” a story I wrote on here in 2017!

*

It can be quite difficult to buy Christmas presents for a twelve-year-old, but Sandy’s family did their best.

Her Grandma Shirley knew what to get her pretty early on- a basic make-up kit, nothing too fancy, but enough for her to experiment a bit ‘til she got things right.  Countless times, Shirley had seen Sandy come back from her cousins’ house done up like a clown (her cousins were fifteen and seventeen, but they were like little girls with a Barbie doll sometimes), and decided that now was the time to counteract a few bad habits.  The only reason shopping for it took as long as it did was that most of the make-up kits for girls Sandy’s age looked ridiculous- covered in cartoon characters or colourful little hearts and flowers.  It was enough to turn your stomach.  Eventually, Shirley found a modest little black box with a couple of eyeliners and lipsticks, and decided that would have to do.  Sandy was a bright girl- she could work out what to do with those.

Sandy’s Cousin Keeley found a copy of Blazing Saddles at HMV, and instantly decided that it was her duty to introduce her baby cousin to the classics.  She was doubly delighted to see that it was rated 12, which meant that she didn’t have to ask her mum to take it to the counter for her, which would probably have got her a lecture on what was and wasn’t an appropriate film for a little kid.  In Keeley’s view, there wasn’t any point having older cousins if they couldn’t show you an inappropriate film or two.

Sandy’s Aunt Caroline found it hard to think of what to get, until she spotted a particular piece of jewellery at one of the shops just off the high street.  It was a necklace of alternating blue and black stones, and it was almost identical to one Caroline’s own mother (who would have been Sandy’s other grandma) had worn nearly every day of her life.  Caroline thought of giving it to Sandy with an explanation of why, telling her about her mother’s ability to keep everything running even when it should have been falling to pieces, about how much she wished Sandy could have known her, about Caroline’s hope that the necklace would represent a small piece of Sandy’s family history, and remind her that she, too, had the ability to endure when life was hard. 

Sandy’s Aunt Joanie, who was Caroline’s younger sister, suspected that Caroline was going to get Sandy something weird that didn’t make any sense, and decided to mitigate that with some good music.  She knew that Sandy was always interested in hearing old 60s and 70s albums (which was just as well, since Joanie had a whole lot of them), and so Joanie spent a long time thinking about something Sandy would like but hadn’t heard yet.  GracelandAfter the Gold RushBlood on the Tracks?  In the end, though, she decided that Sandy hadn’t heard nearly enough Tamla Motown yet, and got her a compilation.  She’d probably appreciate getting something she could dance to.

Sandy’s Uncle Nicky (youngest son of Grandma Shirley) was also thinking about music.  Every kid should know how to play the guitar, that was his motto, so he got her an acoustic Yamaha from a second-hand music store.  It cost a little bit more than he could really afford to spend, but that was OK.  You couldn’t put a price on a life skill.

Sandy’s Uncle Simon, who was snowed under with gift-buying this year (and, if he was honest, every other year since he’d been about ten), saw an advert for a charity that would buy a goat for a Third World family in your name.  Sandy had a big heart, Simon decided, and she’d be happy to know that a poor family were going to get the chance to improve their lives because of her.  Simon signed up to get the goat, and breathed a sigh of relief.  Another person he could cross off the list.

And then there was that other present.

Sandy found it on the doorstep when she came home from school one day.  It was an ordinary-looking flowerpot, the brown plastic kind Sandy had seen a million times before, with a gift tag attached to the side.  To Sandy Buckland- Season’s greetings.

Inside the flowerpot, set in a bed of soft black earth, was a little purple plant.

“Same colour as red cabbage,” said Gran when she got back from work, “Could probably use it to dye the spare pillowcases.”  She looked at the gift tag again.  “Are you sure you don’t know who sent it?  You must have some idea.”

Sandy shrugged.  “It’s not Keeley or Roma.  They said they’re giving me their presents on Christmas Day, right?”

“So you’ve got a secret admirer, then?” called Grandad from the living room, cheerful as anything in spite of the glare Gran gave him at that.

Sandy took the plant upstairs and put it on her windowsill.  Every so often, she’d look over at it, and wonder where it came from.  But the plant gave her no clues.

(To be continued)

The Warbeck Sisters (part fifty)

To mark the fiftieth chapter (and because I’m taking a break from this in December to make way for a seasonal story), I’m going to be adding art to some of the previous Warbeck instalments. I’ll start by restoring some of the pictures from my first attempt at writing it, back in January 2020.

*

Rube’s clothes were damp from spending all night in a pile of moss, but she was feeling a lot better since she’d eaten breakfast.  It wasn’t until Lor had mentioned it that she’d remembered that she hadn’t eaten since yesterday lunchtime, back at the Tavins’ place.  There had been a bush, covered in clusters of bluish-purple berries that had tasted a little like aniseed.  Rube had had time to wonder if the fruit that grew here would be safe for people from her world to eat, but it hadn’t stopped her from doing it.

There seemed to be a long series of staircases and slopes, taking them downwards through treacherous slippery stuff.  Charlie flew a little way ahead of the group, listing slightly to the right (probably because of that ragged bit on his wing, Rube thought).  “Like I said, a long way through the green…”

“Oh!”  Rosemary popped up- actually rose a foot in the air to meet Charlie.  “Might it be quicker if Rube or Lor carries you?”

Charlie hovered in the air, moving up and down apparently by instinct.  “I guess that would make sense…”

Rube felt Lor nudge her in the side.  She whispered, “I was going to suggest that, but I didn’t want Annie jumping down my throat again.”

Rube nodded.  It was hard to think of a way they could have suggested it that the insects wouldn’t have found patronising.

“Rube can do it,” insisted Annie, giving Lor a sideways glance.  Lor shrugged.  As throat-jumping went, that had been fairly minor.  Rube held out a hand, and Charlie landed on it… followed by Graham, who looked up at her as if daring her to question his being there.

Rube cupped her left hand under her right one for extra support, and they went on.

They seemed to be done with the steps for now.  Next up was a thin, grassy tunnel that was almost narrow enough to force Rube and Lor to walk sideways.  As it was, stiff strands of grass brushed against Rube’s arms and shoulders, scratching against any pieces of bare skin they found.  They were the kind of scratches that didn’t hurt, exactly, but that you knew would itch and ache like mad as they healed. 

Rube raised her hands up so that Charlie and Graham could hear her better.  “How long had Kai been in the terrarium?” she whispered.

Charlie turned round to face her, tottering carefully as he went.  “It’s not always easy to measure time,” he told her, “We think about fourteen years, give or take.”

“And the rest of you?”

“Varies,” said Graham, abruptly. 

The tunnel went on for another fifty yards or so, and with every step, Rube debated with herself about whether or not to ask him to elaborate.  Just after they came out the other end, though, Charlie spoke up instead.  “Vincent’s been here the longest.  After him, it’s…”

“What was that?” asked Charlie, his antennae twitching.

Rube stopped and listened.  She heard rustling grass, and the sound of Rosemary and Siobhan (the other bee) flying ahead, but nothing that hadn’t been there before.  Maybe Graham had just wanted to end the conversation.

She hadn’t noticed until now that some of the others had got ahead of them.  Rosemary had, anyway, and Annie was rapidly barrelling towards her so that she could tell her what she thought of her.  “Think you always need to be out in front, don’t you?”

Rosemary put her hands (second set of legs) on her hips.  “I was scouting ahead!  Someone needs to!”

“Scouting ahead.  Right,”

“Come on, Annie…” said Nadia, wearily floating towards them.

“Can’t stand the thought of somebody else getting to see it before you, can you?”

Annie.”  Nadia floated so that she was half an inch above her.  “Don’t be like that.  She isn’t flying ahead at you.”

Rube felt a tickle on her hand.  Charlie was turning to face her again.  “After Vincent, it’s Rosemary and Nadia.  I don’t know which one of them came here first.”

Graham’s antennae went up again… and this time, Rube knew what he’d heard.

It was faint, but there was a tapping sound somewhere behind them, echoing through the tunnel.  Distant, but getting closer.  It sounded like footsteps coming down one of those stone staircases.

She looked up, and saw that Lor had heard it, too.  She’d frozen in place, her eyes wide and staring.

“Dol and Bo?” asked Rube.

Graham nodded.

“How long do we have until they reach us?” asked Lor.

Graham raised an antenna.  “Two minutes.  If that.”

“Right.”  Lor raised her hands to her face, took a deep breath, and looked up.  “Where can we hide?”

(To be continued)

That’s You, That Is

There’s a girl standing in front of the board at Oxford University

Tears in her eyes

Insisting that they should put Peppa Pig Goes to the Dentist on their English Literature syllabus

Because it’s her favourite book in the whole world.

Apparently, that’s me every time I talk to you about something I like.

There’s a girl who insists on standing up

In front of her parents and their guests

Singing them song after song

No matter how many times they tell her that she’s delighted them enough now.

Apparently, that’s me every time I try to show you something I’ve written.

There’s a girl who enlists in the army during wartime

Tells everyone she’ll fight for her country

And prove to the world that a woman can be just as tough as a man

But who, as soon as the drill sergeant raises his voice,

Bursts into tears

Tells him to stop bullying her

And snivels that she wants to go home.

Apparently, that’s me every time I tell you to stop being such an unpleasant little jerk.

And it’s not like you’re angry.

You just feel sorry for me.

You just want me to stop embarrassing myself.

If those girls were real, wouldn’t I want to help them?

Wouldn’t I want to guide them gently back to Earth?

But they’re not, are they?

They never were.

You made them up

Brought them into existence

Just because you knew it would hurt to hear about them.

That’s no way to parent your imaginary children.

There’s somebody who’s always finding cheap ways

To get me to shut up

Because they can’t cope with other people

And think everyone else should be seen and not heard

Because they’re scared we’ll say something they don’t want to hear.

That’s you, that is.

The Warbeck Sisters (part forty-nine)

It wasn’t the first time that Joe Warbeck had found himself locked up for speaking his mind, but it was the first time it had panicked him this much.  He’d try to take a breath, try to assess the situation and work out whether there was anything he could use to his advantage, but he just couldn’t.  Whenever he tried to think, it all came back to what he’d seen in the shop upstairs, and what lengths Colwyn would go to in order to hide it.  He could do it.  If a man had enough money, he could have someone like Joe wiped from the face of the earth.  Completely disappeared.  And then he’d never find out what had happened to his girls.

Joe screamed and rattled the bars, threw the plates and cups they’d given him across the cell, tore the blankets and pillows down the middle.  Sanest possible reaction to being in a place like this.  Make as much noise as you could, until they silenced you forever.

It wasn’t until a few hours in that he even registered that there were other cells near his, and when he did, he didn’t much care.  So people were banging on the walls?  So there were voices in the distance that whined at him to keep that racket down?  Why should he care?  Being a good neighbour wasn’t his first priority right now.  Staying alive and seeing his girls again, that was all he could think about.

Eventually, his voice gave out, and he fell to his knees, forehead against the bars, staring into the dark corridor outside.  It hurt just to draw in a breath.  It hurt just to exist.  This must have been their plan all along- let him tire himself out, then come back and put the boot in.

Something white bounced against the wall.  It landed an inch or two in front of the bars.

For a long time, Joe just stared at it.  A screwed-up piece of paper?  Maybe they’d given up on whining and banging around, and decided to throw projectiles at him instead.  If this was the best they could do, he’d be laughing.

There was a muffled noise to his right.  A voice from a throat that sounded even more raw than his was.  “Read it.

Joe looked at the paper again.  He stretched his fingers through the bars, and pushed it close enough to pick up.  It was screwed-up, alright, but not so badly that he couldn’t read it.  And as he did, his lips slowly twisted into a smile.

(To be continued)

Next

(Content Warning: Deeply unpleasant.)

(I don’t have a new “Warbeck Sisters” chapter finished yet, so this is by way of being a Halloween special.)

*

Well, it’s all a soap opera, isn’t it?  It’s all a tawdry little spectacle, and they milk it for all it’s worth.  And the worst thing of all is that we’ve all fallen for it.  Everyone’s hooked.

I’m not sure when the shift happened, when people like them convinced the world that everything they did was breaking news.  Sometimes I’m surprised we don’t get regular updates on when they went to the toilet last.  That’ll be next, mark my words!

But they’ve been like that ever since they got married.  Always having to be the centre of attention.  Every photo sold to Hello magazine.  Putting their children out front like a bunch of china dolls.  You wonder whether there’s anything real left underneath it all.  Probably not.

You saw the picture of them outside the church, right?  Perfectly posed and perfectly turned-out.  They might as well have gone the whole hog and had the entire funeral sponsored by Gucci.  That’ll be next, mark my words!

Like I said, it’s all a soap opera.  I wouldn’t be surprised if they had a whole script prepared in advance, telling them when their voices had to break and when they had to dab their eyes with a tissue.  “A single perfect tear rolling down the grieving mother’s face…”  Do me a favour.

You’d think they were the first people to ever lose a child.  Always talking about their suffering and their heartbreak.  Do you think they’ve given a thought to the thousands of people who’ve had to put up with this plastered across the papers for weeks, and all the horrible memories it’s brought back?  Of course not.  They’re the only ones thar matter.  They don’t need to worry about the little people.

It was disgusting, the things the newspapers printed.  I don’t know how people with children managed to explain it to them.  All those details- the blood, the hammer, the notes from the kidnapper- no-one needed to hear about it.  It was just them filling up more column inches at the expense of the rest of us.

You watch.  They’ll milk this for all it’s worth, then they’ll go away for a bit and come back with a replacement child.  “Baby news to dry our tears,” that sort of thing.  They’ll probably order one out of a catalogue.  They’d probably like to have it assembled from a kit- just like the last one, but with some of the annoying bits taken out.  That’ll be next, mark my words!

What kills me is, there are plenty of people who actually lose children.  Real children.  But do you think they ever stop to think about that?  Of course not.  Empathy?  They don’t know the meaning of the word.

The End

The Warbeck Sisters (part forty-eight)

Bo and Dol hadn’t gone straight back to the house.  There was a little bolthole, an out-of-the-way place just past the Opal Hill borders, where they could spend the night and consider their options without having to worry about the Fineries and their lot knocking on the door.  After that, they approached the house slowly, round the back way, careful not to alert the attention of anyone who might be watching.

If Pin or Eg had been with them, they’d have been spluttering with outrage and demanding immediate action because didn’t Dol and Bo realise there was an intruder in the house?!  Dol and Bo did realise.  But they also realised that they’d be in a better position to confront the intruders if they weren’t arrested before they got anywhere near them.

There was a little path through the mountains, made originally by natural erosion, but widened and maintained by the Iridescence family for the last twenty years.  One end was hidden by the trees and foothills around it, nearly impossible to find unless you knew where to look.  Follow it to the other end, and you reached a gate at the back of the Iridescence house, which Bo unlocked and held open for Dol.  Home at last.

They passed a number of servants on their way through the back garden, but none of them asked where they’d been or where the others were.  None of them made any comments at all.  They knew better than that.

Once in the house, they went to the secret door and confirmed their suspicions.  “Unlocked,” announced Dol, “They must have had it off the hook the minute we turned our backs.”  She took the key (still in the lock, thank goodness), and locked it again.  “Put the bookcase up against it, just to be sure,” she told Bo, “That way we can check the rest of the house without worrying about losing track of them.”

“Why would they be anywhere else in the house?”

“Well, they probably won’t.  But better safe than sorry.”

Bo nodded, and moved the bookcase.  And so began a half-hearted search of the main house- the main downstairs room, the solar upstairs, the bathrooms and the servants’ quarters.  No sign of Colwyn’s nieces.  No sign of anything out of the ordinary.  After about an hour, they agreed to stop.  Whatever they needed to find, it was beyond the secret door.

Before they moved the bookcase and opened it, though, they made an extra stop at one of the sheds in the back garden.  There was a metal container full of chemicals, and a tube.  Pest spray, it said on the front. 

“We’ll check the attic first,” said Dol, “But I suspect they’ve gone to the terrarium.”

“I hope not,” said Bo, “It would be a shame to lose it when we’ve had it so long.”

Dol laughed.  “If that’s the worst thing that happens to us today, consider yourself lucky.”  She opened the door, and she and Bo stepped into the corridor behind the walls.

(To be continued)

The Warbeck Sisters (part forty-seven)

Jeanette picked up the receiver, then turned back to Colwyn.  “What do I tell her?”

“Whatever seems right to you,” he replied, “You don’t have to hide anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“So she knows about the paths?”  As soon as Jeanette said it, she realised it was a stupid question.  Mum had grown up at Dovecote Gardens- she couldn’t have missed it all those years.  Probably the only reason Jeanette and her sisters hadn’t known about it before that was that they’d never spent any time around here.

“She does, yes.  Although a lot’s changed since she lived here.”

Jeanette went back to the phone.  It was one of those irritating ones with the round dial that gave you repetitive strain disorder after about three numbers and meant that you were never sure whether you’d made a mistake or not.  But Jeanette got in all eleven numbers, listened to it ring, and hoped for the best.

It wasn’t until she heard her mother’s voice that Jeanette realised how worried she’d been that she wouldn’t.  That Dad would have visited her first, and caused even more damage.  “Hello?”

“Hi, Mum, it’s Jeanette.”  She probably sounded much too cheerful for the serious turn this phone call was about to take, but she couldn’t help it.  She was relieved.

“Jeanette!  How are you, darling?”

“Fine.  We’re all fine.”  Here came the tricky part.  “But, listen, there’s been a lot of stuff…  Well.  Dad came by.”

You could hear the joy drain out of Mum’s voice.  “Oh my God…”

“We weren’t in,” said Jeanette, waving a hand as if she thought Mum would somehow see it through the phone, “Neither was Colwyn.  We’re fine.”

“But he got into the house?”

“For a while, but then he got onto the paths.  And he’s been arrested.”

“Arrested?”

“In Underwood Hills.  Do you know that one?  It’s…”

“Up in the mountains, yes.”  Not the description Jeanette would have used, but never mind.  “Did he hurt anyone?”

“No, it sounds like he just threw a tantrum in a newsagent’s.”  She thought for a moment, then added, “He did get into a fight nearer to the house, though, but the other guy’s ok.  He kind of deserved it, to be honest…”

“Oh God.”  Mum sounded as if she was going back and processing the news a second time, just to wring out all the misery.  “He’s been calling me day and night, but I didn’t think he’d come up and bother you.”

“Well, he’s not bothering us now.  We’ve got to go and see if we can bail him out or something.”  Come to think of it, Jeanette didn’t actually know what the Underwood Hills people were expecting her to do when she got there.  Hopefully they weren’t going to ask her to pay for the damage.

“Don’t do anything until I get there,” said Mum.

“But I said I would,” said Jeanette, and her voice sounded whiny even to her.  She’d been looking forward to that!  “Come on, I can’t make them wait five weeks.”

“You won’t.  You’ll be waiting three or four hours.”  There was a jangle of keys.  “I’m coming up now.”

Jeanette just stood there, blinking stupidly.  “What?”

“I’m not letting you and Colwyn deal with him on your own.  I’ll be there by this afternoon.  Don’t do anything til then.”

“Don’t you have work?” asked Jeanette, but she knew the answer to that before she’d even finished speaking.  They let you have days off for an emergency, even if “my ex-husband has been imprisoned by dragons” probably wasn’t the kind of emergency they expected.

Anyway, Mum didn’t even bother to answer that.  “Jeanette, put me back on to Colwyn.  We need to work some things out.”

“OK…  See you this afternoon, I guess.”  Jeanette turned back to Colwyn, and handed him the receiver.  He looked worried, as well he might be.  Mum was not going to be happy when she got here and saw Rube was missing.

(To be continued)