On the Trail of Kelpie and Silkie- March 2006 (3)

Mariam got to the Lambton Theatre at six-thirty, half an hour after Isaac’s shift was supposed to finish.  She was all prepared to tell Jonathan Lambton that Isaac didn’t know she was there and he shouldn’t blame him if it all turned out to be a waste of time.  Assuming she was even able to get in to see him in the first place, obviously.  Yeah, Alex had told them to go and talk to him, but that could have just been wishful thinking.

The foyer was an enclosed, velvety place that looked as if it had been built to discourage people from hanging around while they waited to be called to their seats.  Hopefully there was also a bar or café somewhere in the building.  “Hi,” said Mariam to the guy on reception, “Would I be able to speak to Jonathan Lambton sometime this evening?  Alex Rudd sent me.”  There.  She’d pinned the blame on Alex.  Either Jonathan Lambton would know who he was and the message on the wall would actually have a point, or he wouldn’t, and Mariam could forget the whole thing and go home.

“Well, I’ll call up, but he might be busy,” said the guy behind the desk.  Mariam didn’t recognise him, but going purely on his age and the fact that he was working here, it was a safe bet that he was a Berrylands student.  “If he is available, you might have to wait.  Is that OK?”

“Sure,” said Mariam.  It wasn’t as if she had anything else on this evening.

The guy turned slightly away from her and picked up a phone handset from the left side of the desk, just hidden behind the edge of the screen.  He went to key in the number, then looked back at her.  “Who should I say is calling?”

“Mariam Gharib.”  She felt a little embarrassed for not saying her name as soon as she’d come in.  How was Jonathan Lambton going to know whether or not he wanted to speak to her if he didn’t even know who she was?  Bloody moron.

The guy keyed in the number, and turned a few degrees away from her.  “Hi, sorry to interrupt- there’s a Mariam Gharib who wants to see you?  She says she’s representing someone called…  Alex Rudd?” he checked, turning back to her for confirmation.  Mariam nodded.  “Yeah, Alex Rudd.  Right…  OK.  Brilliant.  I’ll send her right up.”

Mariam, who’d prepared herself for no end of obstacles, suddenly felt like a puppet whose strings had just been cut.

The guy at the desk put his phone down.  “He’s free.  His office is just through that door and up those stairs.”  He pointed to a little grey door in the adjacent wall.  “Once you’re up there, it’s the first door on the right.”

“Thanks,” said Mariam.  The door was labelled Staff Only, which gave her a weird sense of wrongness as she went through it.  As if she was going to set off an alarm, or get a stern telling-off from the security guards.  The fact that the staircase was so dark and narrow didn’t help- it was very obviously not a place for customers.  And definitely not customers who were about to waste Jonathan Lambton’s time.

There had been sections about the Lambton Theatre in all the university prospectuses.  How it had been founded by a great Shakespearian actor Mariam had never heard of, and then inherited by his eldest son and daughter, who had been very generous to the university over the years, hosted events, put their dad’s name on lecture halls, et cetera.  Since getting here, Mariam had seen Jonathan Lambton’s face on the front of the local paper a couple of times, and she’d always thought that he looked like a film star who’d been to just a few too many parties and had just a bit too much plastic surgery.  He definitely didn’t seem like the sort of guy who’d give up his evening to humour some scruffy nineteen-year-old.

Except, when Mariam opened the door to his office, Isaac was already in there, sitting in the chair opposite the desk.  He gave her a little wave.

Jonathan Lambton stood up to greet her.  “Mariam, is it?  Come in, take a seat.”

Mariam stopped opening and closing her mouth like a goldfish for long enough to walk in and sit down beside Isaac.

“Now, would I be right in thinking that you’re here because of a group called The Oakmen?”

It was a moment before Mariam could get it together enough to reply.  “…Yeah.  Has Isaac told you about the message on our wall?”

“And the meeting last night, yes.”  Jonathan Lambton sat down.  He didn’t look quite as plastic in real life, when you were close enough to see the pores and the stubble, but there was still something about him that was a little off.  His hair alone looked like it had hundreds of pounds spent on it every month.  “He said it was run by a man named Shaun Mandeville?”

Mariam finally remembered what she was doing here.  “Yeah.  He just turned up at my work, actually.  That’s why I decided to come here.”

Isaac twisted round to face her properly.  “Really?  What did he say?”

“Um…  He tried to guilt-trip me for us leaving early, and then he told me that his friend almost had to go to hospital after Natalie elbowed her, and we should stop talking to her because she’s a sociopath.”

Isaac’s eyes widened.  “What?” he said, with a laugh.

“She’s a sociopath.  On account of how she elbows people, I guess.”

Jonathan Lambton, having waited patiently for them to finish, continued.  “Shaun Mandeville was called Shaun Pinder when Denny and Alex knew him.  I believe Mandeville was his mother’s maiden name.”

Mariam frowned.  “Alex knew him?”

Isaac looked as if he was going to burst.  “Alex used to live with him!”  He turned to Jonathan.  “Tell her what you told me.”

Jonathan closed his eyes and breathed in.  “I met Alex two years ago.  He made an appointment to see me in this office, and he told me he’d escaped from a cult located somewhere in Dorset.  He told me that my younger brother Hayden- Denny- was still part of the cult, and asked for my help in rescuing him.  The group was run by Shaun Pinder, and they called themselves The Rhymers.”

“Like in the song, remember?” said Isaac, “Thomas the Rhymer.”

Mariam was still stuck on the word ‘cult.’  “Was your brother OK?”

Jonathan’s lips thinned.  “We managed to get him back.  He hasn’t been quite the same since.”

Mariam felt cold.  She folded her arms and drew herself in.  “Why didn’t Alex tell us any of this himself?”

Jonathan gave a brief shrug.  “He thought it would be safer that way.  He thought if he was gone, Shaun Pinder would lose interest in the rest of you.  But since that doesn’t seem to have happened…”  He looked around the room, trying to find a way to end that sentence.

After he’d been silent for a while, Mariam plucked up the courage to ask another question.  She didn’t quite have the guts to ask about the bomb in the park- not yet- but she could ask about this.  “Um, a few days ago, a woman came to our house and said she was Alex’s mother.”

Jonathan tapped his fingers on the desk.  “I can’t say I’ve ever met Alex’s parents…  What did she say?”

“Quite a lot… but mainly, she said that she didn’t think Alex was in Amsterdam.”

Jonathan looked down at his desk.  Suddenly, he looked a whole lot more human than he had before, and it was all thanks to how morose he looked.  “I don’t know where he is,” he sighed.

*

Tamsin’s living room was cramped.  There were other things you could have said about it, but “cramped” came first.  There were paintings on the wall that you couldn’t see because the plants were in the way.  There were windows that you couldn’t see out of because a big widescreen TV was in the way.  There was a cardboard box with the “Happy Shopper” logo printed on it, wedged under a shiny brown coffee table covered with glossy magazines.  There was a fireplace that jutted out in front of the sofa, trapping your knees.  There were glass ornaments on every surface in sight.

Russel, who Rosalyn had thought was Tamsin’s dad until she’d introduced him as “my one and only”, had given everyone a glass of wine.  So far, Rosalyn had only pretended to sip hers.  She didn’t know whether or not Natalie was doing the same.

“So,” said Russel, sitting down opposite them with his legs spread out, “the plan is, me and your man put our heads together, find out who it is that’s been bothering you, and hit ‘em where it hurts.”

“‘Our man’?” asked Natalie.

“Your mate with the bandages,” said Tamsin.  She’d sat down on the arm of Russel’s chair.  Out of nowhere, Rosalyn thought about pirates with parrots on their shoulders.

“Neither of us are…”

“Only way,” said Russel, “Hit ‘em before they know what’s happening.”

Rosalyn remembered that weird woman from Monday, the one who’d said she was Alex’s mum.  “You know when you said you’d seen people hanging around our house…?”

“A whole group of them!”  Russel waved his arms.  “Black knitted caps, lockpicking gear…”

Oh.  So much for that theory, then.

Tamsin rolled her eyes.  “No way you saw lockpicking gear.  Not from all the way across the street at night.”

“Pipe down, or I’ll make you pipe down.”

Tamsin threw her head back and laughed.  “I’d like to see you try!”

Russel sighed, a low, rumbling sound, and turned back to Rosalyn and Natalie.  “I bet your man with the bandages doesn’t have to deal with this.”  He pointed to Tamsin with his thumb.

“Isaac,” said Natalie.  (Rosalyn could see her glass properly now, and it was still full.)

“What?”

“That’s his name.  Isaac.”

Russel nodded.  “Right.  Isaac.  I spoke to him one day last week.  Told him he had to defend his territory.  Cause if those guys in the knitted caps are any indication…”

There was a sound from upstairs.  Rosalyn had to listen for a few seconds to be sure, but she was pretty certain it was a baby crying.

Russel stared at Tamsin.  After a while, he said, “Well?”

“What?”

“I am in the middle of something,” he said, almost primly, “Go up and sort it out.”

“You always…

Russel gave the back of her shoulders a soft shove.  “Go.  Go and see to it.”

Tamsin got up and strode out of the room, giving an indignant huff at every turn.  Russel watched the door close behind her, listened to her footsteps on the stairs, and then continued.  “Protecting your territory.  Only thing that matters in life.”  He put a hand on each spread-out leg and drummed his fingers on his knees.  “Once a man’s sure of that, he has everything of value in the world.”

Natalie glanced at Rosalyn, then back at Russel.  “How do you…?”

“Your home, your property, your blood…  People have forgotten.  They used to say an Englishman’s home was his castle.  People have forgotten.”  He sat there for a while, ruminating.  “I didn’t want to say this in front of Tamsin,” he said, in a quieter, rougher voice, “but there’s something else.”  He hunched down, leaning a little further towards them.  “When I saw those people on Friday night, I saw one of them take a branch from a tree and set it on fire with his cigarette lighter.” 

Rosalyn glanced at Natalie, who shrugged.

Russel smacked his lips, as if he was enjoying himself.  “It fizzled out quickly enough, but…  I reckon he was trying to burn you out.”

*

It turned out that it had been an eventful day for everyone.

“So they’re a cult,” Natalie said flatly (sociopathic Natalie of the hospitalising elbow, that was).

“That’s what Isaac’s boss said, yeah,” replied Mariam.  She’d poured herself a glass of orange juice, but she hadn’t drunk any yet.  The four of them were sat around the kitchen table, trying to digest everything they’d all heard today.

Isaac didn’t know about the rest of them, but he was feeling a little better than he had.  Sometimes it was a relief to find out that something wasn’t all in your head.

“What kind of cult?”

“Well, I don’t know!  What kinds are there?”

Isaac looked at the ceiling.  “According to Mr Green Blinds, they’re the house-burning kind.”  You’d have thought that, after having been knocked for six by getting caught in a bomb blast, the idea of having your house burned down with you in it would be equally upsetting, but Isaac felt a perverse delight.  Like butterflies in your stomach, if the butterflies were juggling chainsaws.

“He said his name was Russel,” said Rosalyn quietly.

Isaac shrugged.

“Look,” said Natalie, “I know he said that, but I’m not sure how much we can trust him.  He also said he saw lockpicking gear, and even his wife called him out on that one.”

Mariam’s brow furrowed.  “But there was somebody trying to break in on Friday.  We know that.”

“Yeah, we do know that.  But we’ve only got one guy’s word about the fire and the lockpicking gear.”

“But the break-in combined with the harassment is definitely enough for us to go to the police.  Right?”  Mariam looked about ready to start tapping her fist on the table to emphasise her remarks.

Natalie, sensibly enough, didn’t even try to argue.  “Right.”  She looked around the table.  “Right.  Are we all free tomorrow morning?”

“We can be,” said Isaac, who had a seminar that he wasn’t too bothered about.  Mariam and Rosalyn both nodded their agreement.

There’s a cult trying to burn our house down.  Everyone agrees.  It’s not just me.

Natalie breathed out through her nose, and a smile appeared on her face.  “You know,” she said, “it’s almost flattering that I’m the one he hates the most.”

Mariam replied in a hot burst of frustration.  “I don’t think it’s flattering, Natalie, I think it’s bloody terrifying.  Now if you could please take this seriously…”

“Hey!” said Isaac- partly out of a desire to defend Natalie, but also out of guilt.  If Mariam knew some of the things he’d been thinking just now, she probably wouldn’t be too pleased with him, either.

Natalie held up her hands.  “Whoa.  I’m sorry.  And I am taking it seriously.”

“I’m sorry, too,” said Mariam, shrinking back until her head was in her hands, “I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“It’s just… what a fucking creep!”  Natalie’s sentence ended with the suggestion of a laugh, but it was more disbelieving than mocking, so Mariam didn’t look annoyed.  “He felt that threatened when I made fun of his alphabet game?”

“Stamping out dissent,” said Mariam, massaging her temples, “Straight out of the dictators’ playbook.”

“Well, he’s only got about ten people to dictate to.  And he won’t be getting any more once we’re done with him.”

Isaac felt warm inside.  Yeah, they could topple a dictator, alright.  The four of them, they could rip him to smithereens.

On the Trail of Kelpie and Silkie- March 2006 (2)

Claire had put up a poster in the Student Union.  It said, underneath photos of Stephen Hawking and Paris Hilton, If you know who she is and not who he is…  Congratulations!  You’re what’s wrong with humanity!

“Better be careful about that,” Adrian told her, “Mariam might not like it.  Might find it offensive.”

Under ordinary circumstances, Mariam might have asked Claire how much she actually knew about Stephen Hawking, but today, she said nothing.  Adrian didn’t need any encouragement. 

“Give it a rest, Adrian,” said Wayne.

Mariam had her back to Adrian, but she could just feel him shaking his head from side to side, like a dog trying to keep the flies away.  “Nah, mate.  Nah.  Some things…  This is just fucking it!”

Mariam had heard variations on this every two minutes for the last three days.  Adrian loudly insisting that he’d never forgive Mariam for talking to the Obscure Metal Band girls and “trying to get him fired.”  Mariam hadn’t asked him to forgive her, but Adrian still felt the need to carry on reminding her.  It put Claire, Robin and Wayne in an awkward position, but Mariam didn’t feel too sorry for them.  It wasn’t as if they were the targets of an extended nerd-tantrum.

In a roundabout way, though, Adrian had done her a favour.  He’d made sure that she was properly boiling with rage by the time Shaun Mandeville came along, so she wouldn’t be polite to him by accident.

He sauntered into the Student Union, all golden-brown hair and nonchalant swagger, and wandered up to the bar.  “I thought I’d find you here,” he said.

“Good morning to you, too,” replied Mariam.

Shaun did a double-take, raising his eyebrows at her sheer rudeness.  “Seriously?”

Mariam said nothing.  She’d had a bit of practice saying nothing this afternoon.

There was a snorting sound at Mariam’s shoulder.  “Yeah, don’t go expecting much out of her, mate,” said Adrian.

Mariam ignored him.  “What is it, Shaun?”

“I wanted to see if you were OK,” said Shaun, “After Wednesday.”

And now, Adrian was leaning over her shoulder.  In her face.  So close that she could smell his breath.  “Oh.  So he came round to be sympathetic.  That’s nice, isn’t it, Mariam?”

Mariam flared her nostrils and inhaled.  “Adrian, I’m sure there’s something else you could be doing.”

  Adrian stepped back a bit.

Shaun sighed.  “Look, there’s something I need to talk to you about in private.  What time do you finish?”

“Not til four…”  But if Isaac’s (and Alex’s) suspicions were correct, then it might be best for their conversation to have a pretty tight time limit.  Just to be on the safe side.  “…but I’ve got a break in about twenty minutes, if you’re free to talk then.”

Shaun nodded.  “Alright.  See you then.”

*

Most days, Denny didn’t even leave Jonathan’s side office.  He’d been nervous the first few times he’d been here- Jonathan never locked the door when he left, in case there was a fire- but he’d soon worked out that no-one was going to come in.  It was a quiet little island in the middle of a public building.  Denny could hear people walking and talking in the corridor outside, but they didn’t even know he was there.  He was safe, and so was everyone else.

He’d get there at nine, start photocopying and laminating stuff, and only stop for long enough to eat whatever Jonathan had brought up from the café for lunch.  Then it was more of the same until Tavia came to pick him up at four or five.  Seven hours where he was no danger to anyone.  Seven hours where he knew exactly what he had to do.

But today, he wanted to talk to Isaac again.  It was stupid, he knew- Denny missed Alex, and Isaac was Alex’s flatmate, but that didn’t mean that Isaac was just an extension of Alex or anything like that.  You couldn’t just replace one person with another one, like they were toys.

But if Alex was friends with Isaac, that probably meant he was a decent person, right?

Denny left the office and went down the corridor.  No-one was there.  They never were at this time of the morning.  Denny stopped at the top of the stairs and listened.  He could hear Isaac’s voice from the front reception.  He was talking to someone- a guy buying tickets, maybe?  Denny wasn’t sure.  He sat down on the top step and stared at the patterns on the wall.  Strange, fractal vines ending in triangular bunches of grapes.  It made Denny think of pictures he’d seen with people squashing the grapes into wine with their bare feet.  If Denny had that job, he’d be too worried about bringing in bacteria and making their customers sick to do his work properly.  And if he said that to Alex, Alex would seize on it and say that he just worried a lot, and maybe every other time he worried about hurting people was just more of that.  As if Denny never hurt people.  As if he couldn’t.  It was ridiculous- everyone hurt someone.  He was no exception.

The other voice had disappeared.  Denny got up and went downstairs.  He had no idea what he was going to say to Isaac.  If Isaac snapped at him and asked if he’d been following him around spying on him this whole time, Denny wouldn’t have any answer.

Denny knew he should turn back.  But he really, really wanted to talk to someone.

He still might have chickened out, even after opening the door, if he hadn’t seen right away how pink Isaac’s eyes were.  It was as if the bombing had left a burn mark right across them.

Even so, Isaac’s face lit up when he saw him.  “Oh, alright, Denny?  I was wondering when I’d see you again!”

“Thought I’d get a bit of fresh air,” Denny explained.  All the way down the stairs, he’d wondered if he should say he had a job to do downstairs, but he hadn’t been able to think of what.  He barely knew what the downstairs part of the theatre looked like these days.  “How are things on the lower deck?”

“Pretty quiet.  Saskia says there was a guy who came in yesterday and tried to get free tickets because he said he was a friend of one of the playwrights, but I haven’t seen him yet.”

“Good!”

Isaac smiled into the middle distance for a second or two, then snapped his gaze back to Denny.  “Hey, you’ll never guess what happened to me last Wednesday.”

Denny wondered if it had something to do with why his eyes looked pink.  “What?”

“Well, a while back, my friend Mariam got a flyer for this self-improvement group that meets up every week.  So we all decided to go this week, just for a laugh.”  Isaac let out a long, slow breath.  “And it turned out that they were completely insane.”

“What do you mean?”

“They started out by getting us to play a game where we described ourselves with an adjective that began with the same letter as our names.  My friend Natalie made a joke out of it, and honestly, I thought they were going to try and stone her to death.”

Denny had gone cold.  My name is Shaun, and I am spectacular.  My name is Alex, and I am astounding.  My name is Denny, and I am delectable.  “What kind of joke?”

Isaac smacked his lips.  “Um…  ‘My name is Natalie, and I am not enjoying this.’”

“Oh.  And they got insulted?”

“You’d think she’d gone to church and spat in the holy water.”

He’s probably exaggerating, thought Denny.  It’s probably a different group anyway, but he’s probably exaggerating.  Or his friend was ruder than he remembers.  Or…  I don’t know.  “Maybe they were just a bit highly-strung?”

“That’s just the start!”  Isaac leaned forward across the desk.  “They got us to play ‘Simon Says.’  Which was quite fun for the first five minutes, but it just went on… and on… until we were all wheezing and sweating and about to collapse.”

“Oh,” said Denny, “That is weird.”  He used to get tired at the end of games, too.  He’d always assumed that everyone else was into it, until Alex had told him that he felt the same way.

And Denny didn’t think Isaac was exaggerating.  He’d been crying, and he was trying to pretend he hadn’t been.  If he’d been playing up how bad it had been, then he’d have mentioned the crying part as soon as possible.

“And that’s when they started in on the ‘pretend to be happy all the time and never trust your own judgement’ routine.”  Isaac was twitching as he spoke, his eyebrows knotted together in the middle of his forehead.  “It was like being trapped in someone’s basement and… grinned at for hours.  Terrifying.”

Denny could practically hear Pinder’s voice in his ear.  Isn’t it sad how quickly people reject positivity?

“Did they get you to sing a song about Thomas the Rhymer?” asked Denny.

Isaac looked up at him, the tension draining out of his face.  “…Yeah.  Do you know them?”

“I used to.”  Denny’s mouth had gone numb.  “Were they calling themselves the Rhymers?”

Isaac shook his head.  “The Oakmen.”

“Oh.”  Denny settled down a little.  “Maybe it’s an off-shoot or something.  It was two years ago that I knew them.”

“How did you know them?”

This was it.  Denny didn’t know how he was going to tell him.  “I lived with them.  They had a… it was like a farm, and we…”  He felt himself choke on the words.  He couldn’t explain about the Rhymers’ camp to Isaac.  He hadn’t even been able to explain it to Jonathan and Tavia- Alex had done that.  So Denny gave up.  “You should probably talk to my brother.”

Isaac raised his eyebrows.  “Why?  Did he live with them, too?”

“No, but he’ll know what to do about them.”  That was just about the only thing Denny could be certain of anymore.

*

Mariam sat on the bench outside the front entrance, with Shaun beside her- leaning back, legs spread wide in a weird pantomime of laid-backness.  “This isn’t easy to talk about…”  He paused.  “Well, I suppose I should ask how your friend Isaac’s doing, first of all.”

“He’s OK.  He said the other night just brought back some bad memories.”  She couldn’t exactly say, He ran off because he thinks you’re up to no good, and I think he might have a point.  Not this early in the conversation, anyway.

Shaun raised an eyebrow.  “Bad memories?”

“All that talk about changing the way you think and so on.”

“So he’d rather carry on in the same way forever, is that it??”

“Maybe,” said Mariam, as frostily as possible.

Shaun at least had the good sense to look away.  “Look, it’s not really Isaac I came to talk about.  He seems great.  Rosalyn, too.  It’s your friend Natalie I’m worried about.”

“Natalie?”

“You saw how she shoved Jo when she left, right?”  He met her eyes again.  “She almost cracked her head on the side of the table.”

Mariam vaguely remembered Natalie elbowing one of the Oakmen, but she didn’t say anything.  She wanted to see where he was going with this.

“Does she do that often?” asked Shaun, “Resort to violence straight away?”

Pretty loose definition of “violence,” there.  “No.  She was just worried about Isaac.”

“And I’m worried about Jo.  Did you know we almost decided to take her down to A&E?”

“What, because Natalie elbowed her?”

Shaun sighed, and stared disdainfully at her.  Mariam waited.

After a few seconds of making his point, Shaun continued.  “Look, I wouldn’t be telling you about this if I didn’t feel there was a part of you that’s good enough to care.”

Mariam neither confirmed nor denied.

“I’ve met people like her before.  There’s no empathy there.  No moral compass.  What she did to Jo…  That wouldn’t have been the first time.”  He was leaning into her now.  “Violence.  Manipulation.  Things you can’t even imagine.”

Mariam thought this over.  She felt strangely calm, for somebody who was being harangued by a madman.  “And you’re sure you’re not just overreacting because she made fun of your alphabet game?”

Shaun jumped to his feet, making an angry huffing sound.  “Fine,” he said, dusting himself off, “Be blind.”  As he walked away, he added (over his shoulder), “If you don’t like what I’m saying, that’s probably because you know deep down that it’s true.  You can tell that to Isaac, too.”

Mariam watched him go.  She sat on the bench for a few minutes, gritting her teeth and clenching her fists on and off.  I wouldn’t be telling you about this if I didn’t feel there was a part of you that’s good enough to care.  The smug twat!  And how had he expected her to react to being told that her friend was a manipulative psychopath?  Believe him right away and kick her out of the house?  Had other people reacted like that?  They couldn’t have, could they?

Mariam still wasn’t sure what this all meant, but it was pretty clear that Isaac had been onto something on Wednesday night.  The Oakmen were bad news, and she didn’t want anything to do with them.  And, if she could get through the rest of her shift without murdering Adrian, then as soon as it ended, she was off to the Lambton Theatre to talk to Isaac’s boss.

*

Natalie and Rosalyn were walking home from university together, talking about anything under the sun.  Specifically, by the time they got to the corner of their street,  Rosalyn was telling Natalie about a guy from her course who’d tried to convince everyone that a local McDonalds was being sued after a little boy had died in the play area.

“But that McDonalds doesn’t even have a play area,” said Natalie.

Rosalyn nodded.  “I said that.  He said it was round the back, where you can’t see it.”

“Ha!”

“That was how the adder got there, you see.”

“Right.  And when was the last time an adder bite actually killed someone?  Maybe if they were stranded hundreds of miles from a hospital and couldn’t get it treated in time…”

“Oh, but it was a whole nest of adders, you see.  She’d laid her eggs under the ballpit…”

“The fictional ballpit…”

“Right, and they’d just hatched.  So when the boy fell on them, they all attacked him at once.”

“In a co-ordinated attack?  Those are some smart baby snakes.”

“Yes.”  Rosalyn’s face was so resolutely straight that you could tell how close she was to bursting out laughing.  Her mouth had started to look like a duck’s beak.  “Seven snakes at once.  There was too much venom.  He didn’t stand a chance.”

            “Poor guy.  Let’s buy some Archers and drink to his mem…”

            And then the woman appeared in front of them.  She actually stepped sideways just so that she could block their path.

            “Hiii!” she said, in a high-pitched trill.  She had a shiny silver coat, shiny platinum blonde hair, and shiny white teeth.  Before she’d even glanced to the right, Natalie knew that she’d come out of the house with the green blinds.  She remembered Isaac telling them about the guy lecturing him on phantom burglars last week.  “I’m Tamsin.”

            “Hi,” said Natalie.

            Tamsin looked at her expectantly.

            “Um, I’m Natalie, and this is Rosalyn.  Do you live…?”

            Tamsin whirred back to life.  It was like clicking the play button on a CD player.  “My husband spoke to your mate with the stitches the other day.”  The spoke with a bit of a lisp, the put-on kind that girls did on TV to sound cute.  “He said we ought to get together and talk about all that trouble you’ve been having.  Those guys trying to break in.”

            “Yeah?” said Natalie, interested to know where this was going.

            Tamsin looked them up and down.  “So you’re coming back from university now…  Want to come in for a drink?” she asked brightly, her smile widening so that her cheeks turned into two little circles.

            Natalie glanced around.  “Well…”

            “Come on!”  Tamsin reached out and linked arms with her.  “What else have you got on for the next half-hour?”

            Natalie glanced at Rosalyn, who wasn’t giving her any clear ‘no’ signals.  “Alright, then.  Just as long as we’re home in time to meet the others.”

            “What?” Tamsin laughed, “Can’t they come along as well?”

            “Maybe.”  Natalie really didn’t have anything on in the next half-hour.  And she had to admit, she was interested in seeing the house with the green blinds from the inside.  It would be something fun to tell Isaac and Mariam about when they got home.

            Still…  As soon as Tamsin loosened her grip on Natalie’s arm, she quietly reached into her bag and checked that her phone was fully charged and within reach.  Just in case.

On the Trail of Kelpie and Silkie (3rd Overture)

From “The Bell,” week beginning 6th March 2006:

On the Trail of Kelpie and Silkie

Rosalyn Pepper

The wood looked sombre in the rain.  Beautiful, too, with the way the water dripped off the edges of the leaves, but sad.  A smell of stone and wet earth.  A dead mouse at the side of the path.  The grey skies bearing down on us all afternoon.

My friend Judith said that days like this give her the idea that the world is fragile.  “You can see mortality wherever you look.  I think it’s because there’s so little daylight.”

We didn’t find any new Kelpie and Silkie messages today.  We didn’t find anything as weird and mesmerising as the Chimps’ Tea Party, either.  But just as we were about to leave, as we could see the streetlamps in the distance, yellow dots against the grey, I stopped to pick up a stone from the ground.

In pencil, I wrote, The rain will stop eventually- Kelpie and Silkie.

I’ve got to admit, it was cheating a bit.  And I’m not even sure what I meant.  But I do know that I couldn’t have ended today any other way.

On The Trail of Kelpie and Silkie- March 2006 (1)

The Oakmen were meeting in the back room of The Lion and The Unicorn on Linden Street.  When Mariam and the others got there, they saw a circle of chairs- about twenty of them, ranging from heavy wooden ones with rectangular backs to tiny ones that were little more than footstools- and Shaun Mandeville, who caught sight of them, beamed, and waved them over.

They’d all seen the message Peps had found, and they’d come anyway.  Because, honestly, this was probably their best chance to actually work out what was going on.  ‘If you have trouble with the Oakmen…’  OK, but why would they be having trouble with the Oakmen?  And why not just tell them about it instead of leaving them a cryptic message and vaguely hoping they actually found it?

Alex had written it.  They didn’t exactly have to compare handwriting samples to figure that out.  Alex couldn’t be bothered to reply to any of Mariam’s texts, even after she’d had to deal with his crazy mother, but he could ruin the wall with the best of them.

Once the chairs had been filled near enough to capacity, Shaun looked around and nodded at the woman on his right, who got up and shut the doors.  As soon as she got back to her seat, Shaun sprang to his feet in the middle of the circle.  “Right!  Hello, everyone!  Thank you for coming out tonight!”  He and the man and woman on either side of him all wore white T-shirts with the Oakmen’s logo, a kind of stylised triangular leaf, printed on the front.  “We are the Oakmen, and tonight is going to be all about connections.  So, on that note, I want you to stand up, turn to the people on either side of you, and give them a big hug!”

It took Mariam a moment to realise he was serious.

Isaac and Peps were lucky- they’d sat on the inside of the group, so they weren’t stuck hugging complete strangers like Mariam and Natalie were.  Mariam and the girl on her right exchanged embarrassed smiles, and then went in for the hug.

It was strange.  Even with all her doubts about Alex, Mariam still found herself looking around the room before she sat down, to see if she could spot That Guy.

“Right!” said Shaun, “Let’s play a game!”  He smiled and waved his hands.  “You can stay sitting down for this one, don’t worry!”

(Mariam hadn’t seen That Guy.  Of course she hadn’t.  Even if he and the Oakmen were in cahoots, he wouldn’t be stupid enough to come to the same meeting as someone he’d met before.)

“It’s simple enough- you just introduce yourself.  Give your name, and an adjective that describes you… but the catch is, they both have to begin with the same letter.  Got that?  OK.  I’ll start- my name is Shaun and I am spectacular!”

He turned to the guy on his left, who said, “My name is Bradley, and I am badass!”

“My name is Debbie, and I am delicious!”

“My name is Janine, and I am joyous!”

“My name is Natalie, and I am not enjoying this.”

There was a little bit of laughter, but it quickly died out in the face of the stony, ominous silence coming from Shaun and his compatriots.  Mariam screwed her eyes shut.  Typical.  Can’t take that girl anywhere.

Shaun and co stared at Natalie for just long enough for it to be uncomfortable, and then Shaun cleared his throat and said, “OK, reminder- this only works if you’re prepared to be mature about this, OK?  Bring an open mind.”  The other two carried on staring, looking at Natalie as if she was something they’d found under their shoes.  Natalie herself had kept her face perfectly blank.  If they were waiting for an apology, they were going to be really disappointed.

The game continued, a little more chastened than before.  “My name is Isaac, and I am imaginative.”

“My name is Rosalyn, and I am relevant.”

“My name is Mariam, and I am marvellous.”  And, despite herself, she thought, That was a bit of an overreaction, wasn’t it?  Because yeah, OK, Natalie had been a bit of a dick just then, but you didn’t glare at somebody for nearly a minute just for not taking your vocabulary game seriously enough.  Not unless you had a serious stick up your arse.

They heard from the rest of the circle, and then the game was over.  Shaun sat down and ceded the floor to Badass Bradley, who rocked back on his heels, made thoughtful popping sounds with his lips, and said, “Show of hands- how many of you have ever had a recurring dream?”

A few people put up their hands.  Mariam couldn’t be bothered.

“Right!  Good!  Because I had a recurring dream once.  From a very young age, I would have this dream where I’d be running down the stairs in my house.  I’d be running, running, like there was something after me… and then I’d trip and fall.”  He paused, hands in the air near his face.  “But I wouldn’t hit the ground.  I’d float down the rest of the stairs.  And nothing bad would happen.”  He brought his hands together and smiled.  “When I got older and told my friends about that dream, every single one of them gasped and said, ‘You too?’”

Bradley clapped once, and did a sort of dance on the spot.  “And I found out, that dream… it’s one that nearly everyone has had at one time or another.  It’s in all our minds, waiting to get out.  So remember- don’t be too afraid of falling.  Because sometimes, when you fall… you float.”

*

Fifteen minutes later, they were all out of breath.  Shaun had got them to play a marathon game of Simon Says, and they’d hopped on one leg and done star-jumps and spun in circles until every one of their muscles ached.  Rosalyn fell back down onto her chair like a sack of potatoes.  She wondered if she’d see actual steam coming out from under her blouse if she knew where to look.

Shaun had sat down too, and Jo, an Oakwoman, got up to talk.  She was small and slight, with big teeth and glasses that made her look like a clever little mouse in a cartoon.  ”Humanity, let us say,” she intoned, “is like people packed in an automobile which is travelling downhill without lights at terrific speed and driven by a four-year-old child.  The signposts along the way are all marked ‘Progress’.”  She made a little ‘Ta-da!’ motion with her hands as she finished.

After a few seconds of confused silence, Jo spoke again.  “That’s a quote from the great intellectual, Lord Dunsany.”  She smiled wryly.  “By the way, you all know what an intellectual is, right?  It’s somebody who’s very stupid, but covers it up by using long words whenever they can.”

A few people laughed, including Natalie.  Rosalyn would have bet anything that she was thinking about that Bryn Cornwell guy.

“Because the thing about Lord Dunsany- and I want you all to be sitting down for this-is that he was a human, too.”  She made a shocked face, and slapped her hands to her cheeks like the Home Alone poster.  “You’ve got to wonder- would he have said the same things if he’d been born into a different species?  If he’d been a giraffe, would he have gone around talking about what a lifelong disaster it was to be a giraffe?”

They were back to animal metaphors again.  It was funny- Rosalyn had just been thinking that one of the things Bradley had said earlier sounded like a Kelpie and Silkie quote.  Sometimes, when you fall… you float.  It hadn’t hit her anything like as hard as the graffiti round the back of Fabric City had, but it gave her a warm, pleasant feeling whenever she thought about it.

“Because, yes, humans can be our own worst enemies… but we also have the intelligence and imagination to make things so, so much better.  We might have invented the atom bomb, but we invented heart transplants as well.  Remember that.”  Jo gave a little punch to the air- not much more than a flick of the wrist, really, but pretty charming anyway.  “And I’ll let you in on another big secret- all of our problems could be solved in an instant if everyone did what benefitted humanity instead of just what benefitted themselves.”

Rosalyn leaned forward, eager to hear more.

*

Natalie hated to admit it (especially after Shaun had been such a miserable git about the adjective game), but she actually quite liked that song they’d just sung.  The lyrics, about a guy called Thomas the Rhymer who’d spent seven years with the fairies and gained a lot of useful wisdom from it, had sounded like a traditional ballad, but the tune Bradley had played on the guitar had been more like something by Travis or Coldplay.  Natalie didn’t know if it was a new tune, or if it was just the way he’d played it.  She might look it up when she got home.

Shaun got up and jogged into the middle of the circle.  It was only a couple of steps, but he jogged anyway.  Because he was a wanker.  He looked up and down, trying to look thoughtful (because, again, wanker), then said, “Have you noticed how often people make themselves miserable for no reason?”

There were a couple of murmurs around the room.

“It’s true!  They worry about things that are ever going to happen.  They let things bother them for years after they’re over and done with.  So that’s the past and the future giving them trouble- what are they going to do about the present?”  He chuckled.  “No good ever comes of dwelling on your own misery.  And the crazy thing is, your own personal experiences have taught you that, but you carry on doing it anyway!”

Beside her, Natalie heard Isaac breathing funny.  His mouth had gone into a tight, straight line, and his nostrils were flared as if he’d just smelled something bad.

“Joie de vivre.  That’s what it’s all about.  Take as much joy out of life as you can.  And sooner or later, you’ll spread it all around you.”  He waved his hands around his head.  “And you’re saying, Shaun, it’s not that simple.  I’ve got responsibilities, there’s rules I’ve got to follow.  But I say, forget about the rules.  Forget about the boundaries.  Forget about the ideas you’ve been fed your whole life.  And once you’ve taken all that away, what’s left?”  He held out his hands to the people in front of him.  “You.  Your truest self.”

Natalie heard a chair scraping, and turned sideways to see Isaac spring to his feet and run to the door.  She was up and after him in a nanosecond.

Shaun’s friend, what’s-her-name with the glasses, got up and tried to head them off before they reached the door.  She had a slightly indignant look on her face, too, as if they were schoolkids trying to leave assembly early.  Anyway, it didn’t work- as soon as Natalie saw her in her peripheral vision, she stuck out an elbow and jabbed her out of the way.  There were a few seconds of light and voices as they raced through the pub, and then they were out and halfway across the road.

*

Isaac reached somebody’s garden wall, and couldn’t run anymore.  Natalie watched him fall to his knees and throw up on the pavement.

Isaac had tried to stick it out, he really had.  Even though it had been like having his head crushed in a vice, even though Isaac could feel the screws tightening every time that guy said the word “you,” he’d told himself that he was going to stay til the end.  But it had just got too much.  You think the wrong things.  You keep doing stupid stuff no matter how much everyone encourages you to be better.  You don’t even know who you truly are.

The all of a sudden, Isaac was kneeling on the pavement outside and staring down at the remains of his lunch.

He felt a hand on the back of his neck.  Mariam.  “What’s wrong, Isaac?  What happened in there?”

Isaac swallowed, took a few deep breaths, and looked up.  All three girls had gathered around him.  He noticed with some surprise that they’d got about a hundred yards from the pub.  He’d even crossed the road without noticing it.  He took another breath.  “OK,” he told them, “OK, listen.”

“What is it?” asked Rosalyn, inching closer.

Isaac swallowed again.  “That place was evil.  No matter what’s going on with Alex, we need to stay away from those guys.”

“Fine by me,” said Natalie, crouching beside him and Mariam.

“What do you mean, though?” asked Rosalyn, who was still standing a few steps away.  Probably didn’t want to crowd him.  Or didn’t want him throwing up on her shoes, which was understandable.  “What was evil?”

“Those people.  The Oakmen.  I don’t know if…”  He took a deep breath, and tried to get up.  “Rosalyn, I need you to promise me you’ll never go to one of those meetings ever again.”

Rosalyn stood still, tightly clutching her coat around her, and gave a little nod.  “OK.”

“We won’t either, Isaac, if that’ll make you feel better.”  Mariam squeezed his shoulder.

Isaac stared at the ground, because he was pretty sure that as soon as he looked up his eyes would start brimming over.  And the worst thing was that he couldn’t even have said why.  It made no sense that a bunch of smug jerks in the back of a pub had made him feel as if he was being shaped into something hideous against his will, but they had.

My name is Isaac, and I am imaginative.

After a few seconds, Mariam patted him on the shoulder again.  “Come on, let’s go and sit by the river.  Get ourselves some fresh air.”

At this time of night the river was just a freezing stretch of sinister-looking black water surrounded by weeds, but the air was fresh and it did make him feel better.  A couple of gulps of the stony smell, and you felt like yourself again.  Isaac saw Mariam messing about with her phone.  “Texting Alex,” she explained, “He’ll have to reply when he hears about this.”

It hadn’t rained lately, so they could sit in the grass at the banks without getting their clothes covered in mud.  “What do you think set you off?” asked Natalie.

Isaac stretched out across the dead grass.  “It felt like they were trying to get into our heads.”

Mariam tsked.  “People like that always do.”

“They wanted to… replace all our thoughts with other thoughts.”  Isaac shrugged.  “They wanted us to ignore our own judgement and listen to them instead.”

Rosalyn sang absent-mindedly.  “Preacher was talking, there’s a sermon he gave, he said every man’s conscience is vile and depraved…

The four of them went silent, huddling under their coats as the cold river wind blew by.  Then Natalie said, “How much do you want to bet that the Oakmen were the ones who set that bomb in the park?”

It was a joke.  They could all tell that she hadn’t meant it seriously, just a dark little aside to laugh at for a second and then forget about.  But in the cold, dark night, as the wind whistled by, Natalie’s words gained a little more weight than they might otherwise have had.

Mariam made a little uneasy noise.  “No-one’s claimed credit for it yet…”

“Well, they wouldn’t, would they?” replied Natalie, “It was a dud.”

Mariam continued as if she hadn’t said anything.  “They showed up on campus two days after it happened, and they instantly tracked down me and Natalie.  Two of the people who’d been there at the park.  Other people too, yeah, but Shaun specifically went out of his way to talk to me.  And, Natalie, you said that girl looked back and gave you a dirty look…”

Natalie nodded.  “I don’t think I saw her at the meeting, though…”

“Right, but that doesn’t…  Look, you can’t have been the only person who threw away one of those leaflets after being given them, right?  But she definitely noticed when you did.  She was looking out for you.”

They all went quiet again, mulling over what Mariam had said.  Eventually, Isaac chewed his lip and said, “It’s all circumstantial, you know.  We’d never be able to actually prove anything.”

“No,” said Mariam, “Not even unofficially.  But at the very best, I think the Oakmen saw us getting hurt in the bombing as an opportunity.  Get ‘em while they’re vulnerable, something like that.”

Isaac sighed, and got to his feet.  “Come on, let’s go home.  If we’re going to have this conversation, we can have it somewhere warmer.”

On the Trail of Kelpie and Silkie- Feb 2006 (7)

Isaac’s first lecture on Tuesdays was at ten.  He didn’t know if the man had found that out somehow and made sure to be standing behind his front gate at twenty to, or if he’d have been prepared to stand there all morning on the off-chance that he’d come by.  Either way, when Isaac passed by the house on the corner with the green blinds, there was a man out front, staring right at him.

“Been meaning to talk to you,” said the man.  It was hard to tell how old he was.  He had grey hair and the kind of thick, square glasses that Isaac associated with Seventies comedians, but you could see his muscles right through his T-shirt.

Isaac stopped where he was.  Five months him and his friends had lived here, and they’d never once seen any of the people who lived in the house with the green blinds.  Just heard their arguments and seen their rubbish on the lawn.  For all they’d known, there weren’t any people living in the house, and it was just haunted by a particularly messy poltergeist.  “…Yeah?”

The man leaned on the gate.  “The other night, I was coming home late, and I saw some suspicious types hanging around yours.  Looked as if they were trying to get over the fence into the garden.”  He smacked his lips as he thought.  “About half past midnight, this would have been.”

“Right,”  Isaac glanced at the end of the road, wondering how late he was going to be.  “When you say ‘suspicious’…”

“All dressed in black.  A couple of those black knit caps on.”  His lips smacked again.  “Twitchy, too.  Jumped about a mile in the air when they saw I was looking their way.”

“Then what happened?”

“They made themselves scarce, pretty quick.”  At a guess, the man was probably about sixty.  Maybe a bit younger, if you assumed he just had one of those faces that gets lines early on.  “Just wanted to talk to you about it.  It didn’t seem right for you not to know.  Not with all those girls in the house.”

“Right,” said Isaac.  In the front garden, behind the man, there were still little scraps of rubbish left over from the big pile a few weeks ago.

“Your mums and dads would want someone keeping an eye on you,” said the man, “Making sure you’re safe.”

And now he was really getting on Isaac’s nerves.  “Right…  Well, thanks,” he said, and began to walk away.

The man didn’t seem to notice.  “Got to look out for yourself, in this world.  Only way to survive is to be the scariest thing in the jungle.”

“Right,” said Isaac, taking another few steps away.

“Mark my words.  Only way to survive.”  The man turned round and began to wander back to the house.  Isaac made sure to get away quickly in case he decided to come back.

*

Rosalyn had got in touch with Judith and told her about Ben Sugar’s news.  The old railway bridge, somewhere in the woods, somewhere near Croydon.  When Judith suggested picking a random bit of woodland and seeing if they could find it, she’d probably just meant it as a joke.  But to Rosalyn, it sounded like a fantastic idea.

“So, what’s the plan?” asked Rosalyn, as they passed through the gate that separated the wood from the pavement, “Just wander about until we find something?”

Judith made an odd face, pressing her lips together and sticking them out like a duck.  “Hm…  The ‘finding something’ part isn’t actually necessary.”

Until tomorrow, it was still February, which meant that it was still cold.  But that didn’t stop it from being the sunniest day since October.  As Rosalyn and Judith got further into the woods, the light shadows cast by the branches cast ever more intricate patterns on the ground.  Spring was getting ready to come.

“I don’t know the names of any of these trees,” said Rosalyn, by way of small talk.

Judith hummed again.  “Well, that one’s a hawthorn.  They’re supposed to keep away ghosts.”

Rosalyn looked over at the spindly tree she’d pointed at.  It looked a little shabby without its leaves.  “Just ghosts?  Does it work on anything else?”

Judith shrugged.  “I don’t think anyone’s ever tested it.”  Judith had told Rosalyn that she was twenty-one.  She didn’t look it.  Or maybe she did, and Rosalyn was just really bad at judging people’s ages.  Both were possible.

There was something about her- maybe her smile, maybe her athletic build, maybe just the fact that she was wearing a skirt outside in February- that made Rosalyn think of characters in Enid Blyton books.  There was something about her that made you wonder if she was about to whip out a bottle of ginger beer and ask you to play hockey or solve a mystery.  She was the sort of person it was good to wander round the woods with. 

“What are we going to do if it rains?” asked Rosalyn, “Other than get wet, I mean.”

“Well, if we’ve found the railway bridge by then, we can hide under it til it stops.”

“That’s another thing I’ve been wondering about.”  They’d come to a sort of mini-hill, more of a rocky slope than anything else, and Rosalyn had to watch her footing so that she didn’t over-balance.  “If it’s a railway bridge, then what’s it doing in the woods?  Wouldn’t they have cut the trees back to let the railway through?”

“I don’t know,” said Judith.  They reached the bottom of the slope, and relaxed a little.  “We’re sort of going on third-hand information, aren’t we?  What Isaac said about what Ben Sugar said.”

“Yeah,” said Rosalyn.  She sighed.  “I still feel a bit guilty doing this without Isaac.  After he was the one who got all that information for us.”  She’d asked him to come, but he’d said he had lectures, and he’d come along some other time.  With that in mind, Rosalyn almost hoped they didn’t find the railway bridge today.  It felt like Isaac should be a part of that.  “But you mean there might have been a miscommunication, right?  Like, maybe it’s not really a railway bridge, but Ben Sugar picked the wrong word to describe it.”

“Maybe.  Or maybe it’s just a disused bit of railway that’s had all this grow up around it.  I’ve seen things like that before.”

“Me too.  There’s one near my grandma’s house in Oxford, an old wooden one.  Me and my brother used to walk along it and scare ourselves by pretending the train was about to come through.”  Rosalyn remembered staring into the distance, imagining that a random set of shapes on the horizon was an old steam engine, seventy or eighty years late.

Judith laughed, in a way that made her duck her head and show her front teeth.  “Did you ever see Stand By Me?  With the scene on the…”

“…railway bridge!  I can’t watch that bit!”

“Because how would you escape?  There’s a fifty-foot drop into the water…”

“You’d just have to decide whether or not that was worse than being squashed by a train.”  Rosalyn pantomimed a shiver. 

Up ahead of them were a row of bushes, a lighter green than the trees around them, and behind that was a row of fields.  It was just a few yards into the first field that Rosalyn saw the signpost.

It was about knee-high (the perfect height to trip over if you weren’t watching where you were going), and covered in chipped red paint.  In faded gold letters, it said, Chimps’ Tea Party 100 Yds.  An arrow pointed right, towards a nearby hill.

Rosalyn and Judith looked up from the sign and exchanged a glance.  Judith was the first one to speak.  “D’you think it’s still there?”

“The chimps’ tea party?”  Rosalyn looked back at the sign.  It was old- you could tell.  Of course, it would have looked pretty weathered even if it had only been outside for two weeks, but this sign had the look of something that had swollen and cracked every time it had rained in the last ten years.  Rosalyn found herself wondering how long chimps actually lived.  “It can’t be a real chimps’ tea party, can it?”

Judith shrugged.  “Probably not.”

“Do you think somebody stole it from a zoo and then put it where it would point right at their friend’s house?”

Judith laughed.

They began to follow the path, towards the hill and then up its side.  As they got closer, they saw that there was a small black building at the top, all canopies and verandas.  “Is that a pagoda?” asked Rosalyn.

“I think so,” said Judith, “It looks like it’s hexagon-shaped, doesn’t it?”

Rosalyn didn’t know if that was a requirement for something to be a pagoda, so she just said, “Hmm.”

Under the veranda, the building itself was covered in full-length windows, making it look like a cage at the zoo.  And inside the building…

“Do you think it’s taxidermy?” asked Judith in a whisper, as if she was worried about waking the chimps up.

“It definitely looks like it,” said Rosalyn, remembering the animals at the museum last week.  These chimps weren’t as well-put together as those ones, though.  Their mouths gaped.  Their eyes were at different heights.  The teacups hung from their hands at strange angles.  “It looks like something from a horror movie,” she said, “Isaac would have loved this.”

They looked around for a plaque or a sign on the wall that would tell them who’d put this together, but they couldn’t find one.  It was anonymous, just like Kelpie and Silkie.

Later, as they were walking back, Justine asked, “Does your university have a newspaper?”

Your university, Rosalyn noticed.  “Yeah, ‘The Bell’.  Why?”

“Well, you could apply to start a weekly column.  All the strange things you’ve seen on the trail of Kelpie and Silkie.”

Rosalyn grinned.  “I think that might just convince everyone that I was a bit nuts.”

“Go on.  I bet there isn’t anything half as interesting in it at the moment.”

“Mm.”  Rosalyn looked sideways at Judith, and asked the question that had been on her mind for a while.  “You never went to Berrylands, did you?”

“I never went to any university.  Couldn’t sit still for long enough.”  She laughed.  “I think I just naturally took to the working world.  Going out and making your fortune.”

“But that’s my idea of hell, having to stand behind a desk all day and talk to people.”

“Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.”  They’d come to the edge of the woods, where the pavement started again.

“Yeah… some people’s idea of hell might be to walk through the woods for hours and run into a bunch of taxidermied monkeys.”

Judith laughed again.  Rosalyn didn’t remember the last time she’d made someone laugh so much.  “You know they’re apes.  Not monkeys.”

“I don’t think that’s the point.”

“And I meant it about the newspaper, you know.  They’re probably crying out for decent content.  You’d be doing them a favour.”

Rosalyn smiled.  “We’ll see.”

*

It was two hours before Mariam got to clock off, and she wasn’t sure how she’d get through it without killing somebody.  She was concentrating firmly on sorting out the till, while Claire stood behind her, droning on in that way that made her sound as if her nostrils had been glued shut.  “It was supposed to be about Bertolt Brecht, right?  But all he did was try and relate it back to George W Bush.”

“Sounds annoying,” said Mariam.

“I mean, if it was up to me, I’d place an embargo on any more George W Bush jokes.  They’ve all been told already.  But Edwin actually got really angry.”  She pronounced it an-graaay.  “He said he was sick of only ever hearing one side of the story.  You know, talking about a left-wing bias.”

“He got that from a few George Bush jokes?”

“At the time, I was like, ‘Oh, come on,’ but I thought about it, and, you know what, he’s actually right.  You only ever hear one side of the story.”  Claire waved a hand at the nearest wall.  “I mean, look at these posters.  They’re all about freeing political prisoners and marching against the government, but if a Christian group tried to put a poster up in here…”

“They’d be fine,” said Mariam, trying not to sound surly, “There are loads of Christian groups on campus.”

“Yeah, but none of them ever put up posters in here.  Because they know how they’d be treated if they did.”

“I’m pretty sure they’d be fine.”

“I just don’t like it when they use lectures to push an agenda.  We’re paying to learn, not to have the lecturers’ opinions shoved down our throats.”

Mariam didn’t think that a couple of George W Bush jokes constituted throat-shoving.  You didn’t even have to be left-wing to think the man was an idiot- you just had to be observant.

Adrian came in from the kitchen, and instantly snorted in disgust.  “Look at that,” he said, nodding towards a group of girls sitting near the pool table, “Corpse Bride Barbie.”

The girls (who made up approximately thirty per cent of the customers in the Student Union this afternoon) all had dyed hair, heavy eye makeup, and bags and sweaters covered in the names of weird metal bands Mariam had only vaguely heard of.  They seemed to be minding their own business.

Robin, who’d been restocking the glasses under the bar, let out one of his honky-donkey laughs.

“Guarantee you, this time last week they were listening to Girls Aloud,” Adrian continued, “It’s all just a trend.”  He grimaced.  “And they actually think that’s how the world works.  Deluded children.”

Robin grunted in agreement.  “Hate stuff like that.  They’ll be sitting there talking about My Chemical Romance, and I’ll be like, stop now, before you embarrass yourself.”

Claire tutted.  “Yeah.  I mean, for some of us, it’s actually about the music?  Not just the pretty men?”

 “Nothing but unreflected fangirl wank,” concluded Adrian.  He wasn’t even bothering to keep his voice down.  The Weird Metal Band girls couldn’t have been more than three or four yards away.

It took Mariam a moment to decide what she was actually going to say.  Adrian, I actually like having customers.  Adrian, are you trying to get us fired?  In the end, she went with, “Adrian, if that lot put in a complaint, I’m not going to defend you.”

Adrian spluttered in outrage. “Suit yourself,” he said, with an air of great dignity.

“What’s the matter with you today?” Robin asked her.

Mariam made a split-second decision, and stepped out from behind the bar so that she could go up to the Weird Metal Band girls and clear away their empty glasses.  She told herself that she just wanted to subtly check that they hadn’t heard what Adrian had said and felt hurt, but she knew, deep down, that she also wanted to terrify him a little bit. 

“Everything alright?” she asked, transferring the glasses to her little black tray.

“Yeah, thanks,” said one of the girls.  Her friends variously nodded and held up their half-full glasses in a toast.

Out of the corner of her eye, Mariam could see Adrian shitting bricks.  She decided to linger for a few seconds longer.  “Oh, I can’t remember if you were told or not- you get a free refill on any non-alcoholic drinks.”

“Yeah, they did say.”  The girl smiled.

“Cool.  Good to know.”  Mariam turned around and went back to the bar, enjoying the scandalised gawp on Adrian’s stupid face.

“What did you do?” he whispered.

Claire was gawping too, in sympathy.  “Mariam!  You didn’t…”

Mariam walked past them into the kitchen, aiming to clear out the dishwasher now that things were quiet.  Adrian followed her in.  “Mariam, I swear to God, if you said anything to them…”

Mariam turned round and looked him in the eye.  They never expected you to do that.  “What?”

No reply.  Adrian, frozen mid-threat, shuffled a little awkwardly.  “So you didn’t, then?”

“Just let me do my job.”  Mariam turned her back on him and opened the dishwasher.

*

Rosalyn knocked on Isaac’s door. “I’m taking my laundry down. Do you have anything that needs to go in?”

Isaac’s voice came through the wood. “No, that’s ok.”

“Alright.” Rosalyn shifted the basket in her arms and walked on. She was a bit worried about Isaac at the moment. He never wanted to talk for long, and when he did talk, it always seemed to be with a weird, falsely-happy sheen over everything he said. Once again, Rosalyn wished he’d been able to come with her and Judith today. It might have cheered him up a bit.

The laundry room (if you could call it that) was in between Isaac’s room and the kitchen. It had a paved floor, bare plaster on the walls, and no heating. It felt like an afterthought. Apart from the washing machine, the only things in it were two doors- one for the downstairs toilet and the other for the garden. It was the one room in the house where you always had to wear shoes.

Rosalyn crouched down and started loading her clothes into the machine. She thought about what Judith had said earlier. Maybe the paper really would take her on as a writer. Natalie was always complaining about the articles in it. There had been one last month that had blamed Theodore from The Chipmunks for the child obesity epidemic, and Natalie hadn’t stopped grinding her teeth for days. Rosalyn was pretty confident she could do better than that.

She pressed the button to start it, and spotted something on the wall. It was grey, half-hidden behind the machine, and exactly at Rosalyn’s eyeline when she was crouched down like this.

She moved closer, and saw that it was a message written in pencil. If you have trouble with the Oakmen, go to Isaac’s boss – Kelpie and Silkie.

On the Trail of Kelpie and Silkie- Feb 2006 (6)

Mariam didn’t have any lectures on Monday morning, so she was the only one both in and awake when the doorbell rang.  She put down her book and went into the hall to see who it was.  Most of the time, the only people who used the bell were the pizza delivery guys, so Mariam didn’t know what to expect.  After Friday night, though, she was wary enough to look through the letterbox to see who it was.

She saw a short, scrawny woman with grey hair tied back in a ponytail.  Not an army of rampaging housebreakers, then.  Mariam relaxed a little, and opened the door.  “Hello?”

The woman grinned.  “Hi!  Are you a friend of Alex’s?”

“Um…”  Mariam hadn’t expected that question, and took her a moment to work out what to say.  “Yeah, I’m Mariam.”

“Pleased to meet you, Mariam.”  The woman nodded in acknowledgement, but didn’t take her hands out of her coat pockets.  “I’m Alex’s mother.  Can I speak to him, please?”

Mariam had never met any of Alex’s family before.  She had no way of knowing whether or not this woman was telling the truth.  True, she had brown eyes and a small nose like Alex’s, but so did a lot of other people. 

Luckily, though, Mariam remembered that she had a way out.  “Oh, I’m afraid he’s in Amsterdam this week.  He should be back the Monday after next.”

The woman’s grin didn’t change.  “I’d really like to speak to him, please.”

Mariam shrugged.  “I could give you his mobile number…”  It wasn’t until the words were out of her mouth that Mariam stopped to wonder why Alex’s mother didn’t have his mobile number in the first place.

The woman (Mrs Rudd?  Should she call her that?) chuckled.  “Look…  Mariam, is it?  I know you’re just saying what he told you to say, but this really is important.  Could you let me in so I can speak to him, please?”

Mariam lowered her eyebrows.  “Saying what he told me to say?”

“You’re not the first one he’s drawn in.  Believe me, you’re not.”  The woman sighed.  Her eyebrows went up in the same way Alex’s did when he was in a reflective mood.  “Please.  Let me in.”

“Look, at this point, even if he was in…”

The woman’s elbow jabbed into Mariam’s side.  It was more surprising than painful, but the result was the same- Mariam flinched backwards, and that gave the woman enough space to shove past her and dart up the stairs.

 Didn’t look like an army of housebreakers, eh? thought Mariam, while she steadied herself enough to follow her up.  At the last second, she remembered to shut the front door behind her.  There was already one intruder in the house- no sense in inviting any more.

Mrs Rudd, if that’s who she was, had stopped at the first door after the stairs, hammering on it and calling through the keyhole.  “Alex.  Alex, I know you’re in there.”

Mariam reached her side.  “For the third time, he’s in Amsterdam.  Not here.  Now can you please…?”

“Alex!” Mrs Rudd shouted, drowning her out.  She carried on pounding on the door.

“That’s not even his room,” said Mariam.  It was Natalie’s, and she wasn’t in, either.  Alex’s room was further down the hall, on the other side of the bathroom, but Mariam wasn’t about to tell her that.

 She wasn’t frightened.  Part of her thought she should be, but Mrs Rudd looked thirty years older and three inches shorter than her.  Even if she got really nasty, she didn’t look like much of a threat.  At the moment, it looked like all Mariam had to do was wait patiently until Mrs Rudd finally got it through her head that Alex wasn’t around, then escort her out of the house so that she didn’t break anything on the way.

“Alex!” yelled Mrs Rudd.  She turned to her left, finally noticing Mariam was there.  “Do you mind…?”

“I mind.  And he still isn’t in.”

 Mrs Rudd made a dismissive tutting sound, and hammered at the door all the harder.  At that point, one Miss Rosalyn Pepper appeared on the second-floor landing, drowsy and rumpled-looking.  She was all pinks and reds, her hair sticking up in a way that reminded Mariam of copper wiring and her face still warm and flushed from being pressed into her pillow for the last seven hours.  Peps caught Mariam’s eye and mouthed, “What’s going on?”

All Mariam could do was shrug.

“Alex!” snapped Mrs Rudd one last time before giving up.  She seemed to sink against the door.  “He’s not answering.”

“Because he’s not in,” Mariam reminded her.

Mrs Rudd gave her a dirty look, then spotted Peps at the top of the stairs.  “I don’t suppose you could tell me where I might find him?”

“What, Alex?”  Pepper blinked in confusion, then looked at Mariam.  “I thought he was in Amsterdam this week?”

Mrs Rudd scowled.  “Fine.  Don’t help.”  And she headed downstairs.  Mariam rushed to follow her in case she tried to check anything else out while she was here, but she needn’t have worried.  Mrs Rudd went straight to the front door.

She opened it, then paused.  “Nothing in life comes free, you know,” she said, looking over her shoulder at Mariam, “You might want to remind Alex of that.”

“Right…”

“I can guarantee you he’s not in Amsterdam.  Most likely everything he’s told you about himself was a lie.”  And before Mariam could ask her what exactly she meant by that, she was gone, with the door slammed shut behind her.

Mariam looked around and saw Pepper, halfway down the stairs, looking as if she’d just been slapped.  “What the hell was that?”

*

Natalie had actually really enjoyed today’s lecture, which had been on 19th Century poetry and hadn’t involved any necrophilia at all, and she was just about to ask Felicity if she wanted to go down to the pub when she saw Rosalyn and Mariam waiting in the corridor just outside.

“Guess what just happened,” said Mariam, as soon as Natalie met her eyes, “Go on, guess.”

Natalie shrugged, and looked at Rosalyn to see if she could get any clues from her.  “Another Kelpie and Silkie note?”

“I wish,” said Mariam, “No, what actually happened was that some crazy woman knocked on the door saying she was Alex’s mother.”

 “What?”

“And then she wanted to go upstairs and knock on his bedroom door to check if he was really out, and she wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“That was when I woke up,” said Rosalyn, smiling meekly, “I heard banging sounds from downstairs and I thought someone was in trouble.”

Natalie looked from Rosalyn to Mariam, thinking through what she’d been told.  “You managed to get her out in the end, right?”

“Yeah.”  Mariam sniffed.  “She left before she could do any damage.”

“And you told her he was in Amsterdam?”

She seemed pretty convinced that he wasn’t.  But then, I don’t know if we should trust the judgement of somebody who thinks it’s alright to elbow her way into other people’s houses.”

Natalie tried to remember whether Alex had ever mentioned his family.  Obviously he was a bit older than the rest of them, so he probably hadn’t been living at home as recently, so references might well have been few and far between no matter what.  She remembered everyone else’s parents coming to pick them up for Christmas break, and she was pretty sure she remembered Alex saying he was going to spend the break with his older sister in Cardiff.  But she didn’t think he’d ever mentioned his parents.  Not once in the five months she’d known him.  “Do we know for certain that she is his mother?  Not some random lunatic who just wandered in off the street?”

Mariam shrugged.  “I guess we don’t.  But she did look a bit like him, for what it’s worth.”  She sighed.  “Anyway, I’ve sent Alex a text about what happened, but he hasn’t replied yet.”

“They can take a while to get through, overseas,” said Rosalyn.  (The other thing Natalie remembered about Alex last Christmas was that Rosalyn’s mum had flirted shamelessly with him while Rosalyn had been upstairs getting her stuff.  But she decided not to mention that.)

They’d been standing to the side, against the wall, letting the stream of people pass them by, but then, out of nowhere, one of them broke away and slapped Mariam on the back.  She started, then turned round to look at him.  “Shaun!” she said, with a big grin.

He was one of those tanned, square-jawed guys who always reminded Natalie of a Ken doll.  “Mariam!  How’s tricks?”

She laughed.  “Tricks are OK.”

Shaun the Ken doll nodded, then looked down and behind him as if he felt awkward about whatever he was going to say next.  “So…  Didn’t see you at the meeting on Friday…”

 “Yeah, sorry about that.  Our flatmate announced he was going to Amsterdam for a couple of weeks, and he wanted to take us on a goodbye museum trip.”

“And you couldn’t have done both?”  He said it with a laugh, but Natalie didn’t think that made it sound any less dickish.  If she was Mariam, she’d be congratulating herself on her lucky escape right about now.  “It’s OK.  I know it can seem a bit intimidating, the thought of all these ideas being thrown at you.”  He looked around at the three of them, probably trying to assess how many ideas would be too many for their tiny girly brains to handle.  “But if you do want to come, we’ve got another meeting on Wednesday.  You’re all welcome.”

“And do we have to talk about our favourite spoons?” asked Natalie.

The guy blinked.  “What?”  He looked to Mariam for help.  “Favourite…?”

“Like on the leaflet,” Mariam reminded him.

“Oh!”  He chuckled.  “That was just a joke, OK?  I wouldn’t want you to take it too seriously.”  He gave Natalie a pat on the shoulder, which was remarkably brave of him, under the circumstances.  “Anyway, I’ve taken up too much of your time.  Be seeing you, Mariam.”  And he walked off with a little wave.”

Natalie waited until he was out of sight, then turned back to the others.  “We’ve got to go to that meeting,” she told them, “I want to see just how big a trainwreck this can be.”

*

Isaac was cleaning up the seats in the back row when his chest started to feel tight again.  It was a pretty easy job, even after a big performance (the other attendants had told him horror stories about finding dirty nappies and used condoms back there, but he was pretty sure they just made that stuff up to scare the newbies), and that meant that your mind had plenty of time to wander.

It could happen at any moment…  It could happen at any moment…

He powered through, picking up the sweet wrappers and checking for spilled-drink stains on the chairs and carpets, and then, once he’d reached the end of the row, he went through again and double-checked it, because damn it, he had some professional pride. Then he went out into the foyer and fetched those leaflets he’d been told to put on display afterwards.

It could happen at any moment…  It could happen at any moment…

His hands were shaking.  He was trying to put a neat stack of each leaflet into each of the plastic stands, but it was hard to count them out.  It was hard to hold onto them.

Then two things happened, and, even in the moment, Isaac wasn’t sure which one triggered the other.  A voice from behind him said, “Are you OK?”, and he dropped a bunch of leaflets all over the floor.

For a moment, he just stood there looking stupid.  Bound to happen eventually, he thought, and he did his best to smile at the guy behind him instead of curling up into a ball and screaming a lot.  “Yeah- just a bit clumsy today, apparently.”

The other guy didn’t look like he was buying it.  He was small and young-looking (maybe a couple of years younger than Isaac), but he had a crumpled-up look, like a piece of schoolwork you forgot about and then found squashed at the bottom of your bag months later.  Creased clothes, tangled blond hair, and dark circles under his eyes.  “You’re Isaac, right?”

“Yeah.”  He looked for the other guy’s name badge, and saw that he wasn’t wearing one.  “And you’re…?”

“Denny.  I work up in the office most of the time.  Secretarial stuff.”  He pointed downwards, at the scattered My Fair Lady flyers on the carpet.  “I’ll help you with that.”  He crouched down and began to pick them up.

Isaac quickly dropped to his knees, as if he thought he could tidy up the whole thing under Denny’s nose if he moved fast enough.  “You don’t need to.  My mess.”

“It’s OK.”  Denny didn’t make eye contact as he spoke, just stared down at the leaflets and scooped them up as quickly as possible.

Isaac gave up on the idea of talking him out of it.  “How long have you worked here?

“About a year.”  He still didn’t look up.  “I’m not even here officially- I’m just a volunteer.  Helping out family.”

That sounded a whole lot like old Johnny Lambton was scamming him for free labour, but it wasn’t Isaac’s job to point that out.  “Something to look good on your UCAS form?”

“Hm?”  This time, he almost looked up.  Or at least, there was a twitch in that direction.  “Oh.  No, nothing like that.  Not really university material.”

That definitely sounded like a scam.  ‘Not being paid’ plus ‘not really university material’ equalled ‘basically slave labour.’  He didn’t know how Jonathan Lambton had suckered Denny into it.  Maybe that was something they taught you at business school- ‘Hoodwinking Kids into Working for Free 101.’  “Why not?”

Denny gave a bit of a shrug.  “Just kind of missed the boat.  I’m better off here.”

Isaac didn’t want to pry, but he might have done, if his hands hadn’t picked that exact moment to start shaking again and make him drop a whole bunch of leaflets.  Denny darted forward and picked them up.

Isaac watched him place them neatly in the plastic stand where they belonged.  At least someone was being professional around here.  “Look, um…  As a favour to me, can you not say anything about this to anyone else?”

“About what?” asked Denny, glancing backwards.

“You know, the shaking fingers and that.”  Something occurred to him.  “I’m not hungover!  It’s just…”

Denny met his eyes.  “You’re scared of something.”

“I…”  Isaac sighed.  There was no denying it when someone was staring right at him.  “Well, it sounds really stupid when you put it like that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault.”  Isaac looked around.  He was the one avoiding eye contact now.  “Anyway, I think we’re done.  Thanks for helping.”

On the Trail of Kelpie and Silkie (2nd Overture)

(From the SWLondonMums forum)

TequilaGal                                                                  Thursday 2nd of March 2006

So, we live two streets down from Berrylands University, which leads to some… interesting interactions with the local students.  Picture the scene: it’s around eight yesterday evening, I’m taking the Littlun back from Brownies, and we’ve been stuck in traffic for an age.  All of a sudden, a young man runs out of a nearby pub.  As we watch in horror, he runs across the street, runs into a garden wall, and throws up extravagantly into some poor family’s front drive!

Luckily the traffic eased up and we were able to drive away before I said anything I might have regretted.  A few streets on, we stopped again, and I turned to my daughter and said, “I want you to remember something.  No matter what happens in life, it’s never OK to disrespect people’s property like that.  Life’s hard enough without people creating problems for each other, and a little consideration goes a long way.”

Say what you want about students, but they don’t half make useful object lessons!

On the Trail of Kelpie and Silkie (Feb 2006) (5)

If only the strong survive, nobody will.  Rosalyn kept turning that around in her head.  A message like that, hidden away at the back of an old fabric shop where barely anyone could see it.  Written in spraypaint when no-one was looking.  Five years ago?  Twelve?  Maybe even more than that?  Who knew?

Judith had managed to get them a list of names, people who’d worked for Fabric City twelve years ago and might know something about the note or the graffiti.  She’d told them to try cross-referencing them with a list of students who’d graduated from Berrylands University between 1994 and 1998.  “If they managed to get into the university library, then they were almost certainly a student there,” Judith had said, “And we can reasonably assume that they were somewhere in the Humanities department, considering the part of the library where they hid it.  So that narrows it down a little.”

Rosalyn had spent the last two hours back at the library, looking through the alumni list on the university database, and so far she’d found two names on both lists.  Kimberley Peacock (BA History), and Benjamin Sugar (BA Linguistics) had both graduated in 1996.  All she needed to do now was see if she could find any contact details on the internet.  And then all she’d need to do was pluck up the courage to call them.

If only the strong survive, nobody will.  If Benjamin Sugar or Kimberley Peacock had written that, then Rosalyn loved them, based on that alone.

Because she knew why they’d written it.  She knew the kind of thing that people said.  Survival of the fittest.  You’ve got to be a fighter.  Are you strong enough to survive, or will you fall at the first hurdle?

It felt like Rosalyn always fell at the first hurdle.  She’d never won anything.  She’d never pushed herself to the limit.  She was short, chubby and ginger, and she had to take pills every morning to stop her brain from falling to bits.  But to Kelpie and Silkie, none of that seemed to matter.

If only the strong survive, nobody will.

If it was the last thing she did, Rosalyn was going to find out who’d written those words so she could thank them.

She went across to the cafeteria, and got a cup of coffee from the machine.  There were still little piles of the university paper on some of the tables, complete with the headline about the bombs.  Rosalyn looked at the nearest pile as she waited for her cup to fill up.  There were the beginnings of an idea, gradually coming together.

She sat down a couple of seats away from the pile, and, after taking a couple of sips from her cup and checking that no-one was watching, she quietly pulled one of the copies towards her.  She opened it to page five, pretending to read it carefully, and slid a biro out of her bag.

Rosalyn paused for a moment, trying to think of the right thing to put, and thought of a trick her dad had told her about when she’d been little.  She uncapped the pen and wrote in the bottom left corner, Don’t think of an orange penguin- Kelpie and Silkie.

She kept the paper in front of her for a few minutes, in case anyone was watching, then put it back in the middle of the pile.  Sometime this week, someone else would come across her message, and be really confused, or amused, or inspired.  Rosalyn would probably never know who, or when, or what happened next, but sometime this week, she’d affect someone’s life.  The thought gave her a strange, shivery feeling.

*

Alex made an announcement at dinner.  “I’m going to Amsterdam next week.”

Actually, ‘at dinner’ was a bit of a misleading phrase- it wasn’t as if they were all sitting down to a shared hearty meal.  Alex, Natalie and Rosalyn had each separately microwaved something, Mariam had eaten earlier and was just kind of hanging around the kitchen, and Isaac, who hadn’t had much of an appetite lately, was picking at a tub of pineapple slices.  “Yeah?” he asked, “What are you going to do there?”

“Photography, Isaac.  It’s a fascinating city.”  And, before Isaac could make any insinuations about why it was so fascinating, he quickly added, “I’m leaving on Saturday, and I’ll be gone for two weeks.  So I want to take you all out before I go.”

“So we don’t forget you exist while you’re gone?” asked Mariam, with a grin.  She was leaning against the fridge and tilting her head in a way that made her fringe partly cover her face in a semi-transparent, blue-black curtain.

Alex smiled back.  “I’m hoping that absence will make the heart grow fonder.  Now, where would you like to go?”

Isaac dug a bit of fruit pulp out of his back teeth with his tongue.  He couldn’t think of anything he wanted to do.  If he wasn’t worried about sounding like a killjoy, he’d just suggest that they stay in and watch terrible horror movies.  After what happened last time they’d all gone out together, planning something else just made him feel uneasy.

“Something in Central London?” suggested Rosalyn, “Like one of the museums?”

Natalie nodded, swallowing a mouthful of lasagne.  “Can’t say no to dinosaur skeletons.”

Alex looked from one end of the room to the other.  “Mariam?  Isaac?  All in favour of South Kensington?”

“Sure,” said Isaac.  Not much point in saying anything else.

Mariam frowned.  “Are you alright, Isaac?”

“Yeah,” he said, taking another bite of pineapple, “I love dinosaurs.”

*

Natalie and Rosalyn ended up wandering around the shops after their lectures.  Neither of them really wanted to buy anything, but neither of them wanted to go home just yet either.  Natalie had told Rosalyn that if they spent one more minute in Superdrug she’d gnaw her own arm off, so they’d gone down one of the side streets to look round the second-hand shops instead.  This one was cluttered with an assortment of dusty, vaguely sinister-looking things, with a rusty clothes horse that looked as if it was about to come to life and rampage through the neighbourhood looming over life-sized statues of Laurel and Hardy and a mantelpiece fresco showing something called “The Helston Furry Dance.”  Rosalyn was crouched down by a little shelf of books (wedged between an old dollhouse and a willow-patterned tea set), and she was clearly up to something.

“You know what you were saying earlier?” she asked, looking up from the little bit of paper that had materialised in her hand while Natalie wasn’t looking, “About that guy in your seminar?”

“What, Kyle?”

“Yeah.  The one with all the opinions.”  Rosalyn was completely wide-eyed and earnest as she said this- not a smirk in sight.  Which was more than could be said when Natalie talked about Kyle.

Kyle had opinions, alright.  He believed that it was better to burn out than to fade away.  He believed that happy people never made good art.  He believed that all the best artists had burned through life as quickly and intensely as they could, destroying their health and alienating the people around them in their single-minded pursuit of truth and beauty. Kyle believed a lot of things, and he shared them at every opportunity.  At length.  No matter how quickly everyone else’s eyes glazed over.

“Well, what do you think of this?”  Rosalyn turned the piece of paper over in her hand.  In tiny, pencilled letters, it read, There’s a big difference between having an artistic temperament and just being a wanker- Kelpie and Silkie.

Natalie put her hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh.  “Perfect.  What are you going to do with it?”

Rosalyn ran her finger along the top of the books, and picked out the third from the left- something called How To Be A Wally.  “Give me a number between one and a hundred.”

“Forty-two,” said Natalie, and she watched Rosalyn flick through the book, fold the paper in half, and slip it in between pages 42 and 43.

“There,” she said, putting the book back in its place, “Now what should we do next?”

Natalie looked around.  There were only a handful of other people in the shop, and they were all on the other side of big piles of debris, so there wasn’t much risk of getting caught.  Not that writing notes and putting them in second-hand books was exactly a capital offence, anyway- at worst, the staff might suspect them of vandalising the books and make them pay for them.  “How about, I’m telling, you’re smelling, you went to Batman’s wedding?”

Rosalyn laughed.  “Why?”

“Why not?”

So Rosalyn tore off another bit of paper and wrote it down.  This one went between pages 42 and 43 of The Mr Men Annual 1986.  “Can you imagine how shocked someone would be if they bought more than one book from here?” asked Rosalyn, “And then they found that they all had weird little notes on the same page?”

“It’s like a free gift,” said Natalie, “So, come on, what’s the next one going to be?”

*

The giant sequoia piece was about three or four metres across, and exactly the same colour as those brownies they sold in the university cafeteria.  It was so smooth that it was hard to imagine it ever being sawn out of a real tree.  According to the sign, the original tree had started growing in 557- you could prove it by counting the rings.  557 barely seemed like a real year.  William the Conqueror had invaded Britain, the Black Death had wiped out a third of Europe, Henry the Eighth had beheaded his wives, Oliver Cromwell had overthrown the king, and all the while, halfway across the world, this tree had been there, digging its roots into the same earth.  How had anyone dared to cut it down?  Hadn’t they been worried that something that big and that old would have some hidden ways to protect itself?

Alex was beside her, an odd, taciturn look on his face, as if he was inspecting the exhibits for signs of forgery.  He noticed Rosalyn glancing at him, and said, “I read somewhere that the wood from giant sequoias isn’t very good.  It’s too brittle.  People would see how tall they were and cut them down expecting a big payday, but they’d end up with piles of splintery wood that they just couldn’t sell.”

“Serves them right,” said Rosalyn, with a laugh.

Behind them, just down the stairs a bit, Natalie and Mariam were talking about one of the other exhibits they’d been to earlier.  “Don’t you get holier-than-thou on us, Natalie.  You were enjoying it just as much as anyone else.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t fun.  Just, imagine if you’d actually been in that earthquake, and then you come to London and find out that someone’s turned it into a ride.”

“If you think that’s in bad taste, I’m never taking you to the London Dungeon.”

“That’s different.  You’re allowed to make fun of tragedies that happened more than a hundred years ago.”

Further down, Isaac called out, “Hey, I think the queue for the dinosaurs has died down.”

Natalie took a couple of steps down, and peered over the bannister.  “You’re right.  Some of those school groups must have gone home.”  She looked up at the other three.  “Want to head over?”

Like she even had to ask.  They’d all wanted to go and see the dinosaur exhibit as soon as they got to the museum, but apparently everyone else here had felt the same way.  Instead, they’d gone to the ‘Creepy Crawlies’ section first, but only after Mariam had got Natalie to lead her around by the hand and tell her to open her eyes when there weren’t any spiders in sight.  Some of the other patrons in there had given them some seriously weird looks.

“OK,” said Rosalyn, “Then the V&A?”

“Why not?” said Alex.  He put his hand on Rosalyn’s shoulder and ushered her downstairs, towards the others.  Ahead of them, Rosalyn saw Mariam catch up with Isaac, touch his elbow, and say something she couldn’t hear.  Isaac grinned wide and shook his head.

“His cuts are healing up well, aren’t they?” Rosalyn asked Alex, taking care to keep her voice low.

Alex nodded, looking down at the others instead of at her.  “With any luck there won’t be any scarring.  He’s…”  Alex took in a sharp breath, and shook his head again.  “You never quite know what’s going on beneath the surface, do you?”

“No.”

“I wish he’d talk to us about it.”

“I’ve always heard that’s a lot harder for men.  Talking about your feelings, I mean.”  Heaven knew it sometimes felt like pulling teeth even for Rosalyn, and no-one had ever tried to make her feel like a disgrace to her gender for doing it.

“You know, Rosalyn, I think you might just have put your finger on it.”  They were moving a bit slower than the other three, thanks to Alex’s limp and Rosalyn’s short legs, so they didn’t have to worry too much about Isaac overhearing.  By the time they’d got to the foot of the stairs, Isaac was already joining the queue for the dinosaurs across the hall.

Rosalyn and Alex caught up with them just as Natalie was inspecting a plaque next to a stegosaurus skeleton.  “It turns out a lot of these are casts,” she told Rosalyn when she reached her side.

Rosalyn nodded.  Earlier on, they’d passed by a sign about extinct animals that said that no-one knew for sure what the dodo had looked like because there were no surviving specimens, and Natalie had got annoyed and insisted that there was a stuffed dodo in this very museum.  She’d led them all the way to the ‘Birds’ section to point it out… and then they’d noticed the little sign saying that it was a replica.  That had thrown Natalie for a loop.  She’d spent the next two minutes muttering, “I was so sure…” even after the others had tried to cheer her up by taking her to see the goofy-looking polar bear in the ‘Mammals’ section.  “Them, too?”

“Yeah,” Natalie said mournfully, “It’s like finding out that Santa’s not real, all over again.”

Mariam laughed.  “Not to rub salt in the wound or anything, Nats, but the blue whale we saw earlier was just a model.”

Natalie gave a dramatic gasp and clapped a hand to her forehead.  “No-o-o!

Rosalyn’s gaze wandered over to a nearby wall display, with photos and dates to do with the first dinosaur bones identified and the archaeologists who’d found them.  They were black and white, those photos, showing serious-looking people in Victorian clothes, but compared to that sequoia slice upstairs, they were from about five minutes ago.  “Look at that,” she said, nodding towards the display, “Isn’t it weird how recent it all is?  Two hundred years ago, they didn’t have a clue that dinosaurs ever existed.”

“Mm,” said Natalie, “It’s not that they never found any bones until then, though.  They found them- they just assumed they were dragons.”

Rosalyn looked back at the stegosaurus skeleton, with its spikes and its funny little head.  You couldn’t imagine one of those devouring maidens and burning villages to the ground.  They looked far too approachable.

Natalie jolted her back out of her thoughts.  “In fact, that’s what Young Earth Creationists still think.  I found this website once, and you would not believe the kind of things they come up with.  Apparently, carbon dating is just God testing their faith.”

Rosalyn’s chest went tight.  She fought the urge to put her hands over her ears.  It’s alright, she thought, This is just a normal conversation.  You’re fine.

“I’m guessing any evidence they don’t like is just God testing their faith,” said Isaac over his shoulder.

“Not all of it,” said Natalie, “Some of it’s just been fabricated by the evil liberal media.”

“Oh, I’ve heard of them.  Very evil.  Especially Channel Five.”

Some people just wanted to shrink the world and use God as an excuse.  They wouldn’t let you have dinosaurs.  They wouldn’t let you have space travel, or heart transplants, or cleaner energy.  They wouldn’t let you have ambition, or independence, or imagination.

Rosalyn felt something on her left cheek.  Alex had brushed some of her hair out of her face.

She turned sideways and saw the crooked smile on his face.  In a low voice, he asked her, “What is it the Dalai Lama said?  ‘My religion is very simple.  My religion is kindness.’”

She should have been embarrassed that she’d been so obvious that Alex had worked out, not just that she was upset, but what had upset her.  She should have been embarrassed that she’d let such a tiny thing get to her in the first place.  She wasn’t, though.  A warm feeling of relief worked its way through her, like getting into a hot bath on a cold day.

“Sorry about that,” she whispered.

“Nothing to apologise for,” he replied, putting his hand on her back as they walked on.

*

Natalie noticed Mariam staring critically at the crotch of one of the Ancient Greek statues.  “I heard something interesting once,” she said, “Apparently, they used to believe that a small penis was a sign that your focus was on spiritual matters, not carnal ones.  So the smaller the penis, the higher-minded you were.”

Mariam snorted.  “Keep telling yourself that,” she told the statue.

They were going up to the theatre section, because Rosalyn said she remembered seeing these neat little light-up dioramas of stage settings when she’d been here a few years ago, and she wanted to see if they were still there.  They also had costumes and clips from plays on display, so that would probably be fun, too.  “As long as it doesn’t remind Isaac too much of work,” she told the others.

Isaac rolled his eyes.  “I wish I got to design light-up scenery dioramas at work.  Instead of dealing with some jerk complaining that we don’t sell popcorn.”

Why don’t you sell popcorn?” asked Natalie.

“The Lambtons are above that sort of thing,” Isaac said airily, “If it was up to them, we’d only serve roast pheasant.”

“I thought it was up to them.  Aren’t they in charge?”

“Yeah, but the RSPCA would have their arses if they tried it.”

They were halfway up the stairs, admiring the big dragon statues as they went, when Mariam remembered something.  “Fuck!”

Beside her, Alex stopped in mid-step.  “What?”

“I just remembered- the Oakmen meeting’s tonight.”  She didn’t remember what time it had said on the leaflet, but it was getting on for four now, it would take them a good forty minutes to get home, and they hadn’t even had dinner yet.  No chance of getting there on time now.  “It’s not that important,” she added quickly in case Alex thought she was implying that his goodbye trip was an inconvenience, “Just, I completely forgot about it.”

Alex didn’t reply right away.  He kept his gaze on her, eyebrows lowered in… concentration?   Concern?  Mariam couldn’t tell.  Alex just looked a bit intense sometimes.  You couldn’t get any more specific than that.  To make things worse, the other three had gone on ahead, so she was the only one here for him to be intense at.

“Mariam,” he said, after a few seconds, “when you met Shaun on Monday, he came up to the bar just after the man who asked you about our arms, right?” 

“Yeah, why?”

Alex took a deep breath.  “How soon after?”

Mariam thought back.  “I don’t know.  He was just behind him in the queue, that’s all.  I didn’t notice him until he started talking.”  She frowned.  “Why?  What’s this about?”

“I’ve… been thinking about what you told us on Monday.  And there’s some things that don’t make much sense.”  He counted on his fingers.  “The Student Union always has loud music playing, but Shaun heard everything the other guy said…”

“Well, yeah, he was standing right behind him…”

“But he also said he knew how you’d hurt your arm because he heard your friends talking about it earlier.  Would they really have been talking about your personal business in front of customers?  Loud enough to be heard above the music?”

“What are you implying?”  The words came out a bit more confrontational than she’d meant, but she definitely didn’t appreciate Alex dancing around the point like this.  “That Shaun put that other guy up to it?”

Alex sighed.  If he’d looked as if he was fed up with her, Mariam would probably have wanted to poke his eyes out, but he didn’t.  He just had a troubled, faraway look.  “I’m just saying, there are a lot of things that don’t make sense.”

“You’re reading too much into it.”  Mariam started climbing the stairs again.

“Maybe,” replied Alex, in that particular way that told her he still thought he was right but was prepared to drop it for now.  She supposed that was the best she could hope for.

*

Isaac’s chest was starting to feel tight again, but as long as he kept moving, he could distract himself.  He didn’t want to deal with the others and their concerned looks right at the moment, so he slipped sideways into one of those big white gallery rooms.  No-one else there.  Good.  He got out his phone and looked up the numbers he’d saved into it earlier.

Him and Rosalyn had managed to find two English Literature students who’d worked at Fabric City in 1994, and then they’d managed to find phone numbers for them.  Or for people with the same names as them, anyway.  And if Benjamin Sugar and Kimberly Peacock getting an annoying phone call was the prince of Isaac keeping his mind from cracking apart as badly as his face, then sorry, Benjamin and Kimberly, but you were going to get annoying phone calls.

He found the number for “KP,” pressed the green phone and listened.

It sent him straight to voicemail.  For a moment, he felt like chucking the phone right into one of those landscape paintings on the wall, but then he remembered that he was not, in fact, mental, and that Kim Peacock probably hadn’t turned her phone off just to spite him personally.  He hung up, and tried the other one.

It rang, and Isaac gritted his teeth.  This room was too big.  The slightest noise you made echoes for ages.  Any moment now, somebody was going to come in and ask him what…

“Hello?”

Isaac jumped a little.  “Hi, is that Benjamin Sugar?”

“The very same.”

He sounded as if he was in a good mood.  That put Isaac at ease, a little.  “My name’s Isaac Green.  I’m a student at Berrylands University.”

“Mm?”

“I’m sorry to bother you, but, um, me and my friends were doing a bit of research, and we found out that you worked at Fabric City in 1994?”

“I did, yes.  About five months, I think.”

Isaac swallowed.  “Can you tell me anything about Kelpie and Silkie?”

Ben Sugar went silent for two or three seconds, during which Isaac convinced himself that the guy thought he was a nutter.  Then he said, “Oh, you mean the graffiti round back?  Yeah, I’m pretty sure that was a couple of local boys on a dare.  There were a couple of teenagers who worked at the shop next door, and they were often hanging round the back.”

“Right.”  Isaac felt as if he should be making notes.  “You don’t remember their names, do you?”

Ben Sugar made a strained, thoughtful noise.  “I want to say Andrew?  Maybe Anthony?  Can’t be any more specific than that, sorry.”

“That’s OK.  It was twelve years ago.”  He sat down on a nearby bench.  His chest didn’t feel as tight as before.  “You’ve given me something to go on, anyway.  Thanks for your…”

“Oh!  Wait!”  Isaac thought he heard a crash on the other end, as if Ben Sugar had knocked something over in his excitement.  “I almost forgot- I think I know where they got the idea!”

“Really?” asked Isaac.  From the corner of his eye, he saw Mariam poke her head round the door to check on him.  At least if she saw him smiling, she wouldn’t worry.

“Yeah!  There’s another bit of graffiti up in the woods near Croydon.  I don’t know exactly where, but it’s on an old railway bridge, and it’s signed ‘Kelpie and Silkie.’”

That was less helpful- “near Croydon” could mean just about anything- but it was a definite lead.  Something to tell Rosalyn.  “Do you remember what it says?”

“Not exactly.  I only saw it once.  But it’s old-it was old even in 1994.  The boys couldn’t have written it themselves.”

“I guess not.”  Isaac stood up and began to walk up to where he’d seen the others last.  “Thanks for this.  You’ve been really helpful.”

They had a shop to track down- whatever was next to Fabric City twelve years ago- and a former employee called Andrew or Anthony or possibly something else.  They had an old railway bridge to find somewhere around Croydon- they could spend months looking for that.  Months on end when Isaac would have something to think about other than the tight feeling in his chest.

 Rosalyn was going to be over the moon when he told her.

*

Mariam woke up in the middle of the night.  Not gradually, not drifting in and out of sleep in a confused daze- this was a zero-to-a-hundred thing.  One moment she was off in the Land of Nod, and the next, her eyes were wide open and she knew something was wrong.

Mariam’s room was the closest to the front door.  If her curtains had been open, she’d have been able to look right at the front drive.  She’d have been able to see whoever was out there, and they’d have been able to see her, too.

There were voices, right outside the front door.  Not on the pavement ten feet away- right there.

Someone tried the front door.  Mariam heard it rattle.

She stayed frozen, lying there in the dark.  She didn’t know how much the curtains would block out.  If she moved from the bed, they might be able to see her shadow.  And if she turned the light on, they’d almost definitely see that.  There was a chance that they were just kids messing about or drunk people who’d got the wrong house, in which case seeing that someone was awake downstairs might scare them off.  But if there was something nastier going on, then that might spur them into breaking in, just to shut her up.

One of them laughed, and another one shushed him.  It made Mariam’s skin crawl.

The door rattled some more (How strong is the lock? wondered Mariam), and then the voices started up again.  She couldn’t make out any words, but she was pretty sure all the people talking were men.  At least three of them.

The voices continued for a while, then seemed to trail off.  Moving away? thought Mariam.  She didn’t dare hope.  And even if they did go away, there was nothing to stop them coming back later.  Maybe with better equipment for smashing down the door.

Mariam thought through all the objects in her room, wondering which ones she could use as a weapon.  The Norton Anthology was a few thousand pages long, and the size of a brick.  If she put that in a bag and swung it, she could probably knock somebody out.  And if she had time to get to the kitchen…

There was another noise, this time towards the back of the house.  It sounded like it came from the little hallway off to the side of the kitchen.  The hallway was a chilly place with bare plaster walls, and there were exactly three things in it- the washing machine, the downstairs toilet, and the back door.

The back door hadn’t been opened since they’d moved in.  No-one knew where the key was.  But if you were the sort of person who snuck into someone else’s garden at one in the morning, you might try and think of other ways to get it open.

Mariam crawled out of bed and up to the bookcase.  She felt around the bottom shelf, put her hand on top of the Norton Anthology, and crouched there in the darkness, listening.

There was a loud thump, then another.  After that, silence. 

Mariam stayed there, huddled in the corner by the bookcase, for another hour, but she didn’t hear anything else.  Whatever they’d done to the back door, it had held.

It was another two hours before she dared to turn the light on.

On the Trail of Kelpie and Silkie (Feb 2006) (4)

Isaac could feel a big, grey weight pressing down on him, but he could ignore it if he kept moving.  It was worst in the mornings, he’d found.  He’d have a few peaceful seconds and then then his wardrobe and the deodorant on his bedside table would come into focus and his heart would sink.  Oh.  I’m still here, then, and my face is still going to ache all day.  That was no way to start the morning.  Isaac wasn’t going to give those thoughts any more headspace than he had to.

Anyway, he had something else to think about now.  They’d found Fabric City.  They’d walked past it two or three times because the sign and display window were so unobtrusive, but they’d found it.  It was still there.

“We just need to be straightforward,” said Rosalyn, in that hushed, croaky voice of hers, as they stepped through the doors, “Let’s just go up to her and ask.”  She nodded towards the cashier, a tall, thin woman with long black hair.  She only looked a few years older than them.  Isaac didn’t know how she’d react to being asked for a list of every customer the shop had had in a particular year when she’d still been in school.

Luckily for them, there wasn’t a queue.  There were two or three customers knocking about, but they’d all gone off to opposite corners (dusty, cramped corners) of the shop, half-hidden behind aisles of material.  That gave Isaac and Rosalyn a straight line to the counter, and the woman behind it looked up and smiled as she saw them coming.

Rosalyn cleared her throat.  “So… bit of a weird question…”

“Hm?” said the cashier, but it was more of a polite squeak than anything.  The kind of noise that a pleasant customer-services mouse would make in a Disney film.

“I found this note in a book in the university library.  It’s written on the back of a Fabric City receipt.”  Rosalyn took the note out of the zip-up section in her bag, and handed it to the cashier.  “I know it’s a long shot, but do you think…?”

The cashier’s eyes lit up as soon as she saw the writing.  “Kelpie and Silkie!” she gasped.

Isaac gave a start.  He had not seen that coming.

“Do you know who wrote it?” asked Rosalyn, with the kind of smile that could blind you if you looked at it directly.  She hadn’t seen it coming, either.  According to all reasonable expectations, the cashier should have spent the next few minutes repeatedly explaining that, no, she had no resources with which to match a twelve-year-old receipt with a specific customer, and she wasn’t being paid enough to try.  She shouldn’t have instantly known what was going on before Rosalyn had even finished her question.

“I’m afraid not, but…”  The cashier put the receipt gently down on the counter, as if she was being extra careful not to rip it.  “Oh, this is so interesting.  There’s some graffiti on the wall around the back of the shop, and it’s signed ‘Kelpie and Silkie’ too.”

“Really?”  Rosalyn leaned a little way across the counter.  “What does it say?”

“I can show you!  If you just wait two minutes…”  She glanced up at the clock.  “My break starts soon.  Would you like me to take you to see it?”

For a moment, Isaac wondered if it was really a good idea to go into a back alley near a grubby little shop with a complete stranger.  Just because someone seemed enthusiastic and friendly didn’t mean they weren’t planning to knock you out and steal your organs.  But it would have taken a stronger man than him to look at Rosalyn’s expression right now and say anything negative.  “Yeah,” he said with a smile, “Sounds great, thanks.”

*

“I’d never have screwed it up like that if I’d known she was still looking,” Natalie told Mariam.  They were in the kitchen at Pallas House, comparing notes.  Apparently, they’d both encountered the Oakmen, and at more or less the same time, as well.  They must have covered every corner of campus with those flyers.  “But I don’t know why she was still looking!  She must have known that not everyone would keep the leaflets after she gave them out, right?”

Mariam shrugged.  “Who can say?  I had to pretty much talk the guy into giving me mine.”  There were three of them in the kitchen this afternoon- Natalie at the table, reading a book for her course, Alex pouring Mr Muscle down the sink so that it might actually start draining again, and Mariam at the cupboard, trying to remember what ingredients you needed for a flapjack.  In the midst of it all, in practically the exact centre of the room, Mariam’s mauve leaflet sat on the table.

“What did you say his name was?” asked Alex, “Shane something?”

“Shaun.  Er, Mandeville, he said.”  Mariam didn’t think she’d heard that name before.  It sounded nice- kind of fancy and distinctive.

Alex pressed his lips together and shook his head.  “Mm.  Doesn’t ring a bell,” he said, as if he expected to know the name of every single student at the university when Mariam didn’t even know everyone on her course.  “What about the other guy?  Do you think you’d know him if you saw him again?”

“Dunno.  Maybe.”  She wasn’t particularly confident about that.  There must have been a couple of thousand short guys with brown hair coming through the student union every day.  “Why would I want to, anyway?”

“So you can ask him why he assumed that a girl with scratches on her arms must have put them there herself.”  Alex’s mouth was fixed in a grim half-smile.  “It must have been an interesting set of experiences that led him to that conclusion.”

“Nah,” said Natalie, “He just sounds like one of those guys who’s convinced that everyone else is stupider than him.”  She tutted.  “Girls especially.  And that’s why they won’t go out with him…

Mariam laughed.  “Anyway,” he said, picking up the leaflet again, “It says here the next meeting’s on Friday.”

“You thinking of going?” asked Natalie.

“Why not?  They seem nice enough.”

Natalie’ mouth curled into a smile.  “But they might make you talk about your favourite spoon…”

Mariam grinned, and looked over at the washing-up waiting to be done on the counter.  “Whichever one’s clean and not covered with those weird rust spots, that’s my favourite.”

*

The cashier, whose name had turned out to be Judith, led them around the corner and into an alley, which did nothing for Isaac’s fears of organ-harvesting.  She turned her head and beckoned them to follow her with an eager smile and a fluttery hand motion, which allowed him to comfort himself with the thought that at least he’d be murdered by a cheerful serial killer.  At the end of the alley was a tall wooden gate, and Judith took a set of keys out of her pocket to unlock it.  “I don’t know how long it’s been there,” she told them, looking over her shoulder as she fiddled with the lock, “It could be older than the receipt you found, for all I know.  Nobody I work with’s been here for more than five years, so…  Ah, here we are.”  She opened the gate and led them through.  “And there it is.”

They were in a small, miserable triangle of concrete bordered by wooden walls on two sides and the back of Fabric City on the third.  But there, on the wall, there was a message in black spray-paint.  If only the strong survive, nobody will- Kelpie and Silkie.

Isaac heard a little gasping noise to his left.  When he looked over, he saw that Rosalyn was staring at the wall with tears in her eyes.

*

Denny kept thinking about Mr Rivers, his old English teacher, and what had happened when Denny had corrected somebody else without putting his hand up in one of his lessons.  Mr Rivers hadn’t been the sort of teacher who started yelling at you straight away.  He’d gone silent and tight-lipped for about twenty seconds, and then let everything out in a steady stream of venom.  “Bad enough that you disrupted the class, but you did it for the worst possible reason.  You thought that everyone needed to take a break from their learning to appreciate how clever you are.  Do you think people care that much about what you have to say?  Do you honestly think anyone’s impressed?”

It had felt like a knife between his ribs, but he still hadn’t learned.  The more Denny thought about it, the more certain he was that most of the problems in his life stemmed from him wanting to show other people how clever he was.  And he was never quite as clever as he thought he was, was he?

Today wasn’t one of those days when Jonathan or Tavia made him go out somewhere, so Denny stayed in his room, looking up at the ceiling.  If Jonathan and Tavia had any sense, they’d have made it so the door locked from the outside and then never let him out.  Instead, they just came upstairs and checked he was alright every hour.  Denny tried to be OK with that.  If he got one of those blackouts, there would be plenty of people between him and the front door.  It would be fine.

If Alex was here, he’d tell him not to worry about that.  Denny knew Alex meant well- of course he did- but he’d given up trying to talk to him about the blackouts and anything like them, because Alex had an excuse for everything.  Either it had been understandable under the circumstances, or it hadn’t happened how Denny remembered it, or it was OK because no-one had actually got hurt.  As if it was possible for Denny to never have done anything wrong in his life.  As if he was some kind of perfect saint.  Ridiculous.

He remembered Pinder, years ago, giving him a cool, disappointed look and saying, “I hope this is just a one-off and not you finally showing us who you really are.”  Denny had tried to make it a one-off, really he had, but it was just a part of who he was.  It was stuck fast and long since gone rotten.

On the Trail of Kelpie and Silkie- Feb 2006 (3)

Mariam was back at work right after the weekend.  They’d offered her a few more days off, but she missed getting paid.

She’d been pleasantly surprised by how her co-workers were behaving this morning.  It was all how are you and glad to have you back and don’t take on too much.  Even Wayne, who could usually be relied upon to rant for hours at the slightest provocation about how George Lucas had broken his heart and betrayed their entire generation, had told her to leave any table-waiting duties to him.  “Can’t have you pulling your stitches,” he told her, leaving her by the till.

She spent the morning pulling pints, noting down food orders, and collecting in the money.  It wasn’t bad work.  The Student Union was a crowded, dimly-lit place just to the left of the main university building, and it had a bar, a sandwich counter, and not much else.  When there was a lull between customers (not often), you could amuse yourself by checking out this week’s posters.  Just about every square inch of wall space was covered in them- adverts for events and clubs, political statements, charity appeals.  They got so many on, Mariam was surprised they didn’t try and put some on the ceiling and the floor as well. 

She’d just started reading about a benefit gig in a nearby pub when That Guy came up to the counter.  Afterwards, he was always just That Guy in her mind, pronounced with all the disdain her brain could muster, but at first he seemed perfectly normal.  Then again, didn’t most of them?

He asked for a pint of John Smith’s, and watched her pour it, eyes focused on her forearms.  She probably wouldn’t have noticed that if she hadn’t been so conscious of the bandages under her sleeves, but she was positive- whenever her arms moved, his gaze followed.  It was like hypnotising somebody with a watch.

It wasn’t until she’d already passed him the pint that he finally spoke up.  “I just want you to know- I think that’s pretty pathetic.”  He pointed to her right wrist, where her shirtsleeve had ridden up to reveal a centimetre or two of bandage.  “You’re just going to make your family worry themselves sick about you, and for what?  A little bit of attention?”

Mariam goggled at him.  She had got a bit of extra attention after what had happened at the park, but…  “You think I wanted that to happen?”

“I mean, cutting yourself,” said That Guy languidly, “Fucking emo chicks…  You don’t know how good you have it.  There’s people in the world with real problems.”

Mariam reached out and snatched the pint out of his hand, pulling it back across the bar.  It felt a bit childish, but it also felt satisfying.  “We have a policy against abusive language,” she recited, remembering her training back in October, “I’m refusing you…”

She would have ended by kicking him out of the Student Union and telling him not to come back until he’d read every single local paper from the last three days, but at that point, another person appeared behind That Guy.  He seemed to materialise at his shoulder.  The other man was tall and broad-shouldered, with the kind of hair that curled at the ends and always looked wet, and he was carrying a handful of mauve flyers.  He made eye contact with Mariam, then grabbed That Guy’s arm and wrenched him two steps backwards.  “So you’ve got nothing better to do with your life than go around bothering random women?”

That Guy struggled in the other man’s grip.  “She’s a fucking emo!  Just look at her arms!”

“She was caught up in a bombing on Thursday, arsehole, and she’s back at work already.  I’ll bet that if that happened to you, you’d still be at home squealing like a baby.”

That Guy struggled some more.  “Let me go!”

The other man let him go.  That Guy scurried towards the exit, elbowing his way through the crowd.  If one of them had wanted to chase him, they could probably have caught him in five seconds flat, but as far as Mariam was concerned, the further away he was from her, the better.

She looked back at the other man, and grinned.  “Right, I’d say you’ve earned a drink on the house.  What’ll it be?”

The man held up his hands.  “It was nothing, really.  Just, I overheard you and the other bar staff talking about what happened, and I figured you’d been through enough already without having to deal with creeps like him.”

Mariam’s face felt hot.  She tried to ignore it.  “I wouldn’t be that quick to turn down a free drink.  Are you sure?”

“Absolutely sure.”  The man put out a hand.  “Shaun Mandeville.”

Mariam shook it.  “Mariam Gharib.  What are those leaflets you’ve got, then?”

Shaun looked down at the papers in his hand and gave a start. As if he’d completely forgotten they were there.  “Oh!  They’re for a group called The Oakmen.  I’m meant to be giving them out.”

“And that’s, what, a band?”

“Hm?  No, we’re just a social group, really.  A way for people to meet up and talk.”  He scrunched his nose in a way that made Mariam think of a rabbit.  “People don’t talk enough these days, do they?”

“I guess not,” said Mariam.  She nodded towards the flyers.  “Can I have one?”

Shaun’s face lit up.  “Of course!”  He peeled one off from the stack and handed it over.  “Next meeting’s on Friday, in the back room at the Skillet.  Come along.”

*

Rosalyn lay on her bed in the attic, listening to Stevie Wonder and trying to forget about the word “fate.”  Mainly because she was pretty sure she’d tempted it.

She’d kicked up such a fuss about it, too, all starry-eyed and convinced the universe was trying to tell her something.  All fun and games until somebody lost an eye.  Isaac had been lucky not to literally lose an eye, in fact.

Obviously, Rosalyn knew she hadn’t willed the explosion into existence just because she’d wanted life to be exciting.  If she told anyone she had, they’d tell her to stop being ridiculous.  And, in fact, she’d been to two therapists, one here and one back home, so that she could stop being ridiculous at times like this.  But knowing something intellectually wasn’t the same thing as feeling it in your bones.

People like her should just avoid talking about fate and messages from the universe in the first place, she decided.  It never led to anything good.

There was a knock on her door.  “Come in,” she said, sitting up and turning off the music.

Isaac came in.  The bandages were off, but his face still looked pink and blotchy, and the stitches stuck out a mile.  “Have you still got that note?” he asked, breezily.

Rosalyn did still have that note.  She’d thought about chucking it out, just to draw a line under the whole thing, but that had seemed wrong.  It hadn’t seemed like her decision to make.  “Yeah, I put it back in the book.  Why?”

“Well, you said it was a receipt from some fabric shop, right?” He walked to the centre of the room.  “So it’s probably got a date on it.  Maybe even the shop’s address.”

“Yeah, maybe.”  She got up and took the book down from the shelf.  The note was back where she’d found it, in between pages 74 and 75.  It hadn’t felt right to move it somewhere else.

She handed it to Isaac, who turned it over and raised his eyebrows.  “Jesus!  April 1994!”

“Really?”

“See for yourself!”  He handed it back, and she looked through the small print at the bottom of the receipt until she found it.  Thursday 14th of April, 1994.  This note had sat in the book, undisturbed by the outside world, for nearly twelve years.  Until Rosalyn had come along.

“You were right- there’s an address, too,” she told him, “Fabric City, 21 Browning Road.  Do you know where Browning Road is?”

Isaac clicked his teeth.  “I… want to say it’s one of those streets just behind the station?  We’ll have to check it out on a map.”

Rosalyn frowned.  She should have seen this coming.  “You want to try and find the shop?”

“Well, it might not be there anymore, but there’s no harm in checking.”  He shrugged his shoulders so extravagantly that the whole of his jacket moved up and down with them.  “Neither of us have lectures today, so why not?”

Rosalyn knew why not, but she couldn’t say so out loud without sounding mental.  There wasn’t any harm in checking.  But people like her probably shouldn’t.  “I don’t know…”

“Rosalyn.  Come on.”  Isaac gave her a warm smile.  “We had a bad shock last week, but lightening doesn’t strike in the same place twice, does it?  Worst case scenario, we’ll get to Number 21, find out it’s turned into a Starbucks, and have to head back home.”

“Well…”

“Rosalyn, there’s this really annoying proverb about falling off horses.  Please don’t make me use it.”

Rosalyn laughed.  “Oh, alright, then.  I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Isaac grinned.  Before Rosalyn knew what he was going to do, he’d already picked her up bridal-style, with his right hand between her shoulderblades and his left arm hooked under her knees.  “Where to, miss?”

*

There were free copies of the university paper (which was called “The Bell” for some reason Natalie had never bothered to find out) on every table in the canteen.  Not so strange- it came out every Monday.  But this week, the front-page headline read, Two Berrylands Students Injured in Park Bombing.

They weren’t actually allowed to name the two injured students (and neither were the proper newspapers who’d reported on it last Friday), but it couldn’t have been that hard to find out, because all five of Pallas House’s tenants had been stopped at some point in the last four days and asked for an interview.  They’d all said no thanks.

Natalie’s parents had asked her to come home.  She’d appeased them by promising to try and get down there this weekend.  She was pretty keen to stay with her housemates for the time being.

Natalie’s friend Felicity finally worked her way through the crowd and sat down opposite her.  She put her coffee down on the table, nodded backwards and said, “That’s my biggest argument against Anarchy, right there.”

 “Hm?”

“It’s like this- when I’ve got up at six in the morning, travelled an hour on a crowded train, sat through one of Bryn fecking Cornwell’s lectures and queued for ages to get a cup of coffee, and then some berk elbows into me and makes me spill half of it and burn the skin off my hand, the only- the only– thing that’s going to stop me from throwing it into their stupid ugly face is the knowledge that I might get arrested for it.”  She shook her scalded hand in the air.  “So, you know, it’s important to have laws.”

“Is your hand OK?” asked Natalie.

Felicity grimaced.  “I’ll live.”

“I don’t think the lecture was that bad.”

 “Oh, come on.  It was meant to be about Plato’s Republic.  How did it end up being about how the English language is dying out because of netspeak?”

“It could have been worse.  Remember that story he set us that was all about necrophilia?”  It had been called ‘The Copulating Mermaid of Venice, California,’ and it had been about two drunk guys stealing a corpse and waxing poetic about how they were having sex with it.  Natalie had written a response story called, ‘The Wanking Dugong of Chessington, Surrey.’  She was still pretty proud of that one.

Just then, a girl Natalie didn’t recognise shuffled up to the table, hugging a set of mauve leaflets to her chest.  “Oakmen meeting on Friday,” she announced, throwing a couple of copies in front of Natalie and Felicity.  Then she shuffled off to bother people at the next table.

“Oakmen?” said Felicity, “That’s, what, an environmental thing?”

Natalie picked up the leaflet and read it.  She started frowning almost immediately.  It was the kind of leaflet that poked you in the face with capital letters and exclamation marks.  Then she read the second-to-last sentence, and made a noise like a cat coughing up a hairball.  “Apparently, it’s for people who want to talk about how much they love their favourite spoon.  Their favourite spoon.” 

She couldn’t have said why that particular sentence had struck her in the way it had. It made her think of a poster she’d passed on the way to school a few years ago, an advert for a nightclub that had said, SPICE UP UR MISERABLE LIVES!!!  By the fifth or sixth time she’d passed it, Natalie had been prepared to defend her miserable life to the death.  This was like that- supposed to be lighthearted, but with a weird undercurrent of aggression that affected the whole thing.

Felicity raised her eyebrows.  “Do you think it’s one of those ‘trying too hard to be random’ things?”

“It’s one of those ‘really wanting to be told they’re funny but not quite understanding how jokes work’ things.”  Natalie crumpled the leaflet in her hand, squashing it into a crinkly mauve ball.  As she did it, though, she caught sight of the girl who’d given them the leaflets.  She was still looking right at them.

All of a sudden, Natalie felt very small.  They’re just trying to have fun.  And it’s not as if ‘The Wanking Dugong’ was exactly Monty Python, either.

For a moment, it looked as if the girl was going to come over to their table and demand to know what their problem was, but instead she just pulled a face and moved on to the next table.