Scene One

(A Science lesson.  The TEACHING ASSISTANT is helping the STUDENT with his work.  Occasionally, the student stops to play with his pet octopus, who he keeps in his pencil case.  After a while, the SCIENCE TEACHER comes by.)

Science Teacher:  Derek, how many times must I tell you- put that octopus away!

Student:  Sorry, miss.

T.A.:  I’m sorry, I didn’t realise…

Science Teacher:  Look, I know you’re new here, but the school has a very strict anti-sea-creature policy.  If you see a student playing with a sea creature in a lesson, you absolutely must take it off them.  Tell the class teacher if necessary.

T.A.:  I understand.

 

Scene Two

(A Maths lesson later that same day.  The teaching assistant is now with a different STUDENT.  After making a couple of attempts at his work, the student gets his pet seahorse out of his pencil case.)

T.A.: (spotting this) Ernie, give me that.

(The student not only ignores this, but opens his friend’s bag, gets out a goblin shark, and starts playing with that as well, much to the amusement of his friends.)

T.A.: Ernie, seriously, hand those over.  You’re not allowed sea creatures in the lesson.

Student:  (shoving both the seahorse and the goblin shark in her face)  Wooo!

(His friends collapse with laughter.  The teaching assistant, quite annoyed by this, goes to to the front of the room and tries to get the MATHS TEACHER’s attention.)

T.A.:  Excuse me…

Maths Teacher:  (to the class)  Make sure to check your work after you’ve finished!  (to the T.A.)  Yeah?

T.A.:  Ernie won’t stop playing with sea creatures.  I’ve asked him to put them away, but…

Maths Teacher:  (to the student and his friends)  Oi, lads!  Is that a real goblin shark?

Student:  Yeah!

Maths Teacher:  Haven’t seen one of those in ages!  (to the T.A.)  Is he hurting anybody?

T.A.:  Well…  No, but…

Maths Teacher:  Then let him get it out of his system.  He’ll get back to work eventually.  (to another group of students)  Oi, you’d better be talking about the work over there, you lot!

(He goes over to talk to them.  The T.A. goes back to her table, where the student and his friends giggle and talk about her strange obsessive grudge against sea creatures.  Luckily, a few seconds later a giant squid gets loose and eats the lot of them.)

The End